


Emersus

by mansikka



Series: The Last of the Dying Sun [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Discrimination Against Downworlders, Immortal Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magic, POV Magnus Bane, Politics, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:11:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Alec is back, and has a whole other way of life ahead of him, which Magnus is doing all he can to help Alec discover away from the unwelcome eyes of the Clave. As Alec begins to get used to a new way of existing, news from home speaks of an Institute that is attempting to oppress its Downworlders under the guise of reorganization throughout the Clave. What kind of existence are Alec and Magnus going to go back to?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> On to part two, and yes, what you probably thought happened to Alec did happen to Alec; here's where he starts to adjust. Again, there is a backdrop of political stuff going on that's building up and shaping their decisions. But there's also a lot of sweetness between these two as that's happening :) enjoy! x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **warning** Alec will be in pain for a few minutes of this part after the first 'break'. If you want to know the specifics I've put that in a note at the end so it doesn't spoil it x

"What happened?"

Magnus sat up sharp from where he’d been dozing with his head pressed into Alec’s hip, rolled over on to his knees on the floor beside him, and pushed the hair away from Alec’s forehead, his hand cramping from holding Alec’s for however many hours.

He'd tried to lift Alec back in the cave, but there was no strength in his legs, and the deadweight of Alec swinging from him almost resulted in them both crashing back to the floor. Instead he’d portaled them home before they could fall, and in a small burst of energy, Alec had hoisted himself up on the couch, falling asleep stretched out along it within seconds. Magnus had collapsed to the floor beside him in both fear and relief, with no idea of what was going to happen next for them.

"You don’t remember?" Magnus asked carefully, not knowing where he should start. He watched Alec's brow furrow for a few seconds before he slowly opened his eyes, then blinked as though to clear them of too much sleep, and settled a bleary gaze on Magnus.

"I remember leaving for a mission. A huge—a swarm of demons, like I'd never seen before overhead and just… everywhere. And fighting harder than I think we've ever fought."

"And then?" Magnus prompted, holding his breath, watching Alec frown for a second time, his eyes drifting away as though trying to picture the scene again.

"Then nothing much," Alec sighed, playing with his fingers. "I mean. I could hear wings beating, and other Shadowhunters calling out, and fighting. We weren’t making any progress at all. And then… I think I remember a pain in my arm. Then nothing. Darkness. Sleeping, I think."

Magnus carefully pressed Alec’s hand against his thigh and slid his own fingers away, then after receiving a nod of permission, snapped his fingers to remove his shirt. His eyes swept up Alec's arms and over his chest searching for any trace of a wound, breathing out a soft sigh of relief when he found none. Though his heart fluttered in protest at the sight of Alec’s runes; paled in the short time he’d been missing, and appearing as little more than faded tattoos.

"Magnus?"

Magnus closed his eyes, trying to get his words together, debating first a gentle approach to reveal Alec’s new _existence_ , and then an abrupt announcement to get it over and done with, wondering which he’d prefer. He’d performed a series of spells as Alec had been sleeping that confirmed what Magnus had been sure of on that cave floor; in place of angel blood was now demon blood. Instead of Nephilim, he was now warlock. And instead of the mortality that had always been the thing to threaten to tear them apart, an endless stretch of immortality was before Alec; Magnus’ heart leaped for the possibility of what that might mean for him, and chided himself for being selfish.

"Mag—"

"Alexander," Magnus said, trying to smile at him. But then the relief of having Alec home hit harder than any fear of his reaction to his news, and Magnus leaned down over him, cupping his face and trying not to cry.

"Hey," Alec whispered, strength apparently returned enough to his limbs for the effortless way he hoisted Magnus up to lay on top of him, sweeping soothing hands up the length of his back under his shirt. "Hey, it’s okay."

"I kept telling myself that you were okay, that you’d be fine, and I believed it; I did. I wouldn’t give up on you Alex—"

"Magnus," Alec whispered again, "how long was I gone?"

"Do you want that in hours, or minutes?" Magnus tried to joke, though it came out trembling for the fight he was having against letting his tears fall.

"Magnus—"

"Can we settle on _too long_ , for now?" Magnus sobbed, and the soft look on Alec’s face had those tears falling freely, as he reached up to cradle the back of Magnus’ head, pulling him closer to tuck into his neck.

"I’m so sorry for worrying you," Alec soothed, hugging him tight.

"It’s not your fault."

"I’m still sorry."

"You’re back now. That’s all that matters," Magnus replied, crowding a little closer into Alec’s warmth, feeling like he might not be able to untangle himself again even if he wanted to try. And though he knew it made no sense, Magnus was sure the worry of the past few weeks was dissipating through his pores, leaving his heart lighter and his head clear; even with the difficult conversation to come.

"Magnus," Alec whispered again with a kiss to the back of his hair before nudging for him to look up, "you should probably let me up."

"Why?" Magnus said, sitting back in alarm.

"Well," Alec said, clicking his tongue in the side of his mouth and grimacing, "however long I’ve been gone, I don’t think I found time to brush my teeth."

"I can—"

"And I need the bathroom. Badly," he added with a wriggle that had Magnus standing and offering his hands out to pull him to his feet.

"Okay—"

"Maybe you could join me for a shower when I’m done," Alec said hopefully, wrapping his arms around Magnus to pull him in for a hug, nuzzling just behind his ear.

"I will," Magnus replied with a click in his throat, the aching need he felt for Alec right then enough to take strength from the backs of his knees. He’d needed him the entire time he’d been gone, of course, but that physical ache for him then was enough to leave him swaying, thankful that Alec was there to hold him up.

"Okay," Alec agreed with a further squeeze before pulling back. "Give me five minutes."

Which Magnus did, resuming his pacing back and forth as he tried to work out the words to explain to Alec what had happened to him. Alec’s silhouette through the steamed-up glass of the shower a few minutes later stole all other thoughts from him, however, with Magnus snapping his fingers to rid himself of his clothes, then stepping in to immediately wrap his arms around him. Alec sighed at his touch, cradling his head against him for a moment, but then he was slotting his fingers through Magnus’ hair and ducking a fraction to stare at him, before claiming his mouth in a long overdue kiss, and backing him against the shower wall.

"Magnus," he called out, bending lower to mouth along his neck, rocking insistently against him, then moving back just enough to slot his fingers in the tiny gap between them to wrap around Magnus’ cock, coaxing him impatiently to hardness.

Magnus widened his stance a little, sweeping his hands repeatedly up his arms as Alec nuzzled his way across his cheek back to his mouth. And as he reached out for Alec to mirror his own actions, Magnus groaned softly for the missed feeling of him thickening against his palm. Alec punched out a filthy moan in answer the moment he touched him and stumbled a little for it, before straightening up to stare back at Magnus with a look of intent, then once again claiming his mouth.

As they worked each other harder, fingers slotting together so they could fuck into the grip of their joined hands, Magnus had a few seconds of wanting to slow things down between them, savor the feel of Alec on him for the first time in so long. But that need boiling beneath his skin took over, and soon they were spilling over their chests and hands, tired groans falling from their lips as they held each other up.

Alec pulled him back under the shower spray with a soft huff, dropping his forehead on to Magnus’ shoulder and wrapping his arms around him with a grateful sigh, the weight of him against Magnus' own tired frame making him stumble backward. "I needed that."

"So did I," Magnus replied with his own sigh, pressing up against Alec as much as he could, the feel of Alec's skin on his so grounding, that Magnus was convinced he could go to sleep right there with Alec holding on to him; so exhausted from the weeks spent without him.

Between soft kisses and relieved smiles they washed each other clean, luxuriating in the feel of one another beneath the spray of warm water for far longer than they usually would before stepping out, and toweling one another dry. But one glance at Alec drying himself, his fingers coming to a pause to trail over then prod at the fading runes on his stomach, and Magnus’ own stomach was rippling, discarding his towel in seconds then stepping forward to be closer to Alec, preparing for his questions with his heart in his throat.

"Magnus. These look lighter to you?"

"They do," Magnus agreed, the steamed up mirror glass making each rune look to be no more than ghosts on his skin.

"A lot lighter," Alec continued, his brow furrowing as he inspected his forearm, then lifted his eyes uncertainly to stare harder at his reflection.

Magnus followed him as he moved towards the mirror, swallowing rapidly for the alarm in Alec’s eyes as he reached up to trace over his Deflect rune; once an eye-catching feature stretching the entire length of his neck, and now barely an echo on it. Visible when close or looking for it, but otherwise easy to imagine having never been there at all.

"Magnus," Alec said, his voice a little sharper, and the confusion on his face making Magnus’ heart leap, still having no clue where to start. "Magnus; what happened to me?"

"Honestly, I don’t know," Magnus said, stepping just a little closer, not wanting to startle him. "I arrived in the cave, and you were like this."

"And _this_ is what?" Alec demanded, the accusation in his voice Magnus knew was not intended for him, though it still stung.

"I… Alexander, I—"

But a sharp intake of breath and even wider eyes stopped him, with Alec raising a hand, pressing a palm over his heart, his shoulders slumping forward apparently in relief to find it still beating.

"I’m not dead."

"No," Magnus agreed, "you aren’t," remembering all too well Alec's adamant denial of even the thought of becoming a vampire to make him immortal.

"But I’m not alive either, right?"

"You’re… as alive as I am," Magnus said carefully, then winced for how pathetic an effort it felt.

Alec’s gaze snapped to Magnus’ in the mirror appearing even more startled, his lips falling open in surprise. "Like you?"

"Yes, Alec," Magnus said, trying to smile at him, but catching how nervous he looked in his reflection and having to look away.

"Like… a warlock?"

"It appears so, yes. I performed a couple of spells—"

"I’ve got… magic?" Alec asked, his voice getting higher in incredulity as he raised his hand and studied his fingers as though expecting magic to come pouring out.

"I would think so, yes. Though you are… new. And this is… unusual."

"What is?"

"A Shadowhunter becoming… well, a Shadowhunter surviving a—I mean, it’s obviously possible for a Shadowhunter to—"

"Magnus," Alec urged, pleading in his eyes that for Magnus surged nothing but guilt.

"It is rare that a Shadowhunter would survive an attempt to transform them into a warlock without… extensive preparation. With Mundanes it is simply a case of being introduced to enough demon blood, some difficult incantations, and a lot of monitoring to ensure things don’t go wrong. But for a Shadowhunter, the introduction of demon blood in place of angel blood can be fatal, without careful preparation that can take many months."

"I… the demons at the rift; they did this to me?" Alec asked, and that bewilderment on his face Magnus had no idea what to do with, or how to interpret.

"No," Magnus said when he could get his words out, "no, Alexander. There is no demon that I know of that could do this with a simple bite, or wound; especially in the timeframe that you've been gone. The process is—"

"Shadowhunters have become warlocks in the past, though right?" Alec urged, frowning a touch as he shifted on the spot. "I mean; we talked about it. For me; we talked about it a _lot_."

"We did," Magnus agreed, remembering every one of their conversations about ways for Alec to become immortal if he eventually chose it.

"And you said. You said it would hurt—a lot. And take time. That we’d have to plan it out carefully if I decided to—"

"Yes, Alec," Magnus nodded, not sure how else to respond.

"But I can’t have been gone all that long," Alec protested.

"Around two weeks."

"Is that enough time to—"

"No," Magnus said, cutting him off, "no. Those choosing the transformation, it—like I said, it can take months."

"But I’m… here. And I feel okay. I feel like _me_ ," Alec added, staring back at his reflection as though he couldn’t recognize himself.

"Yes. You are."

"And it’s… permanent? I mean—"

"There is no way, that I know of, anyway, for the transformation to be reversed, no," Magnus replied, his stomach knotting repeatedly for the thought of Alec already regretting it.

"So—"

"So something did this to you, without your permission," Magnus finished for him, fury twisting through his gut for the violation, and coiling with the hope already settling around his heart.

"Magnus," he whispered, swallowing with difficulty, "I—this is—I don’t—"

"It’s a lot to get used to," Magnus said, stepping closer and after hesitating, reaching out to rest a hand on Alec’s shoulder, not sure what other touch might be welcomed, despite what they’d just done together in the shower.

"I—"

"And if you’ll allow me, I’ll be here with you for every moment of it," Magnus continued, terrified that Alec would push him away.

Alec stared back at him hard in the mirror unflinching, and Magnus was frozen by it, unable to slide away his hand. The fear of losing Alec that he’d tried denying having over the past couple of weeks had never dreamt up losing him like _this_ ; to have him right there in front of him, with the new reality Alec had to face being a possibility of driving them apart.

Alec continued to stare at him, his expression morphing through confusion, fury, then determination, which Magnus did his best to interpret, and hoped to be wrong.

"Magnus," Alec said, soft enough to keep hope fluttering for him. "I… this isn’t what I wanted—how I’d wanna do this. And I’m… the thought of someone doing this to me against my will is… I hate it. But it doesn’t… at least, for me, it doesn’t—it doesn’t change anything for me, about how I feel about you."

Magnus pleaded with the sob erupting from his mouth not to be escaping, raising his hand to quickly cover it a few seconds too late. Alec spun on his heel, cupping Magnus’ face and continuing to stare at him.

"Magnus; I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I just… this _is_ a lot to take in."

"I love you too," Magnus blurted out, shaking hands reaching for Alec and pulling him in tight. "I love you, and I thought I’d lost you, and I… I am lost without you."

"I’m not going anywhere, Magnus," Alec repeated, cradling his head against his chest, "I just… what the hell do we do now?"

* * *

" _Magnus_."

The fear in Alec’s call had Magnus sitting bolt upright, disorientated until he realized he was in their bed.

When they’d finally left the bathroom and Magnus had ensured a famished Alec had enough to eat, they’d gone straight to bed and curled around one another, with Magnus updating Alec on the limited details he knew of the Clave, the Institute, and the mission, and Alec filling in the few blanks he could.

There had been a tentative discussion about Alec’s new immortality, and an even briefer one for the fear in his eyes when Magnus mentioned his burgeoning magic. And then there had been no more need for words, just pressing even tighter together, with more of those soft kisses and smiles of relief, until they’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

But that peace was shattered by Alec’s frantic sobbing, and though his mind was still thick with sleep, Alec’s obvious terror had Magnus’ heart frantically beating in protest.

"Alexander."

The agony resonating through Alec’s cries was torture, and Magnus leaped up and ran from their bedroom to chase down the source of the noise. He found Alec crumpled forward on his knees with his fingers grasping hard against the carpet, and his forehead pressed there, that he kept rolling repeatedly up on before curling up tighter, and groaning out in agony all over again.

"Alexander, what is it?" Magnus urged, but in his haste to find Alec, his eyes had failed to take in the rippling across Alec’s shoulders beneath his skin.

To the inside of Alec’s shoulder blades his flesh flexed and contorted. Inflamed redness seeped into the skin surrounding two long ridges running parallel to those bones and growing more prominent, then starting to protrude even as Magnus watched. And with every ripple making them more visible, Alec let out another agonized moan.

"Alec, it’s okay," Magnus urged, falling to his knees and flaring his fingers over those marks wanting to offer comfort, though not knowing if his touch would soothe or cause further hurt.

"What’s happening?" Alec pleaded, gripping hard to Magnus’ offered hand, and with another surge of pain shooting through him, shifted just enough to bury his head in Magnus’ lap.

"Alexander; I believe this is your warlock mark making its first appearance."

"What?" Alec called out in protest, arching up as that redness flamed hotter, and Magnus could swear the heat from it was radiating up in waves to strike against his face.

"It’s okay," he tried to soothe, stroking his fingertips through the back of his hair, "it’s okay, Alexander. I’m here. I’m _here_."

With another anguished wail Alec sat up on his haunches, face twisted in agony, and tears streaming down his face. Labored breathing had his shoulders rising and falling for a few seconds, and then he was letting out a final long yell, tumbling forward once again and crying into Magnus’ lap.

Beautiful bat-like wings fanned themselves out over Alec’s back to settle, and Magnus stared down at them halfway between awe and terror, having no sense of how to react.

"Alec," he called out softly, still with a firm grip on one hand and his fingers in his hair, wanting though not daring to touch this new part of Alec for fear it might be too sensitive, or that Alec might have difficulty acknowledging it was even there. So they stayed silent aside from Magnus whispering the occasional soothing word, letting Alec find his way back, hoping to anchor him with his touch. And he thought perhaps he’d made the right decision a long few minutes later, when Alec shakily breathed out against his leg, and began to sit himself up.

"Wings?" he asked as though he didn’t want to believe it. Magnus reached out to wipe the tears from his cheeks and offered up a smile, and a small nod.

"Yes, Alexander."

"I have wings?" Alec repeated, sounding horrified, with fresh tears falling as he dropped his head forward into Magnus’ neck and wrapped his arms around his back, shaking as he held on tight.

"You do, Alexander. And you may not want to hear it, but they are beautiful. You are beautiful."

Alec’s head shook in denial against him, and Magnus attempted to soothe him with words again. It took another few minutes of coaxing for Alec to be able to sit back up once more, clinging on to Magnus’ fingers as he looked back at him with a shaky sigh.

"Do they… are they—how do they work?"

"I have no idea, Alexander; each warlock mark is unique to the warlock to whom it belongs. Do they feel a part of you, or—"

"They do," Alec admitted with a little surprise, half-glancing over his shoulder and appearing startled, when what was apparently a deliberate thought had his right wing flexing.

Magnus took comfort that now the wings had erupted, there was apparently no pain across Alec’s back, but the overwhelmed look on his face spoke of difficulties that they'd not considered having to overcome.

"I can’t—they can’t stay, Magnus," Alec said, sounding fearful, eyes repeatedly darting over his shoulders before coming back to settle on Magnus’ face.

"Alexander—"

"They can’t _stay_ , Magnus," Alec pleaded, clinging on to his fingertips and shuffling closer, looking more frightened than Magnus had ever seen him.

"We can’t get rid of them, Alex—"

" _Please_."

The anguish in Alec’s voice has Magnus wrapping him up ever tighter, hoping by doing little more than rocking him in his arms and giving Alec the space to cry himself out, he’d find his way back to being calm.

"I will teach you how to glamor them," Magnus offered once Alec’s sobs had reduced to the occasional hiccup, doing his best to reassure Alec as he continued to tremble beneath his touch, but not knowing if his words might reach.

"Like… like you do with your eyes?" Alec said after a short pause, the smallest of frowns furrowing his brow.

"Yes, like that. But it will need to be—it will be a difficult kind of glamor for you to learn, to live as you do now without them being… present."

"And I’ll… I’ll be able to control it? Them?"

Magnus couldn’t tell if Alec wanted to know how he’d keep them hidden, or if he’d be able to put his wings to use. He settled on the former and nodded with a more confident smile than he was feeling, cupping Alec’s face and drawing him into a kiss.

"You will. And I will help you," he promised, dropping their foreheads together, relieved at Alec’s soft sigh as he did.

"You’ll… you’ll teach me? Or glamor them yourself?"

"Both. Whatever you need, Alec."

"I need you, Magnus," Alec said with a tremble in his voice, and Magnus pulled him closer until Alec was straddling his lap, arms draped around his shoulders, their chests flush together as though he was frightened to let Magnus go.

"And you have me," Magnus promised.

"You’re… you’re kind of stuck with me now," Alec added with a soft huff, shuffling even closer still.

"I can think of nothing better," Magnus assured him, the smile lighting up his face then a genuine one, that Alec cautiously echoed when he pulled back a fraction.

"You—you mean that?"

"Alexander," Magnus smiled, kissing against the side of his head, and for the first time since he’d got Alec home, allowing himself to truly feel hopeful. "I know this is not what we had discussed. And I know that the circumstances are… difficult. That it is perhaps far sooner than you were thinking about. But now—"

"I get to stay with you," Alec said then, pulling back a little more, and staring at him in awe, the corners of his mouth beginning to turn up into a pleased, though startled smile, apparently forgetting his new burden of wings.

"Yes. If that is what you want, then yes; yes you do."

"What I want?" Alec demanded, sliding his hands up to cup his face. "How about what you want?"

"You. I have always wanted you, Alec; you know that. We have talked about this, so many times."

"But—"

"But if I get to have you indefinitely. If I get to have you for my version of forever and I… if I don’t have to let you go, then I—"

But Alec had apparently heard enough, ducking and claiming his mouth in a hard, desperate kiss, nudging ever closer until Magnus had to push forward for fear of them toppling backward.

* * *

"It’s some kind of joke, right?"

"Alexander?" Magnus asked, coming through to the lounge and sliding their tray of tea on to the table pulled closer than usual to the couch.

"These things," Alec said with a slight raise of his shoulders, grimacing for the movement, and telling Magnus he could still feel his wings, leaving him picturing them curling around his shoulders, and half-wishing he could have another glimpse of them himself.

"Alex—"

"They’re a part of me," Alec continued, glancing over his shoulder, this time Magnus imagining him stretching a wing out. "I can’t get rid of ‘em."

"Not—"

"I can still feel them, Magnus," Alec sighed, desperation creeping back into his voice. "I can—"

"You must give it time, Alec," Magnus urged, pouring their tea as nonchalantly as he was able, then gently sliding across the couch, lifting Alec’s arm by the wrist to duck beneath it and tuck into his side. "You have only had them a few days. Wings are a lot to get used to—"

"But it’s just so weird," Alec insisted, gripping Magnus closer to him, "because you’re right here next to me, and they’re not here, but I can still feel them. Like they should be right where you’re sitting, only they’re not."

"You will get used to it, Alec."

"There’s a lot of things I’ve got to get used to," Alec sighed, pressing an absent kiss to the top of Magnus’ head, then leaning forward to turn the page of a thick, heavy book he'd begun reading on magic.

Magnus thought of the fraught visit from Izzy, Clary, and Jace after he’d got Alec back to the apartment. The evening after Alec’s wings had revealed themselves, they had shown up unannounced, with Magnus blocking them in the doorway for a few seconds as Alec had run to the bedroom in a panic at the thought of them seeing him with his wings. Magnus thought of the strength Alec had needed to act as though nothing was different when he let them in, his own glamor for Alec's wings only able to stop them being visible or felt by others, not remove the new sensation on Alec’s back.

Magnus thought of the difficult conversation that had followed, revealing the details they knew of what had happened to Alec, and the onslaught of confused, relieved, fearful tears that had followed from them all. He thought of Izzy’s halting description of the operations at the Institute; how the Clave had declared it was reorganizing all Institutes involved in the mission where they’d almost lost Alec, with empty promises of things returning to normal once Alec had returned. And he thought of Alec lying awake in his arms when his siblings had left them, his confession that he didn’t see how he’d ever get back to the Institute putting an ache in his heart he didn't think he'd be rid of for some time.

"Yes, you do," he agreed simply, not wanting to rehash anything Alec wasn’t ready to say out loud.

"I’m… I feel like I could get used to everything else," Alec added, abandoning the book and turning his hand over so it was palm up against his thigh, both of them watching as wisps of fledgling emerald green magic drifted up from his fingertips, dropping away again to nothing before he could attempt to do anything with it. "But the wings..."

Magnus continued to watch the lazy flare of Alec’s magic when it rose up again, tried to push back the excitement he felt for being able to teach Alec to harness it, and demanded with himself to be patient.

"Is it that they’re so… big?" Magnus asked, thinking of his own warlock mark, and feeling that in comparison—at least from Alec’s perspective—he’d been far luckier.

"It’s that they’re _there_ , and I… it feels like it’s some kind of joke."

"What is?"

"A Nephilim getting actual wings?" Alec replied archly with a huff, leaving Magnus first to reach out and hold his hand, then to turn enough to wrap his other arm around Alec’s waist, tucking firmer into his side.

"I don’t think it’s that, Alexander. Warlock marks; we don’t exactly know why we have the marks we do. They are said to show the traits of our heritage—"

"But I don’t have _heritage_ , here, Magnus," Alec sighed, wrapping him up tighter. "I just woke up like this, but I… it’s just a _lot_."

"It is. It is so much to get used to. But you have to do what is best for you, Alexander."

"Magnus?"

"I mean," Magnus said, pressing a kiss into his neck before pulling back enough to look at him, though still holding his hand, "you will need to learn to control your magic, and to more easily and naturally glamor your wings. I imagine all the processes a body usually goes through during the transformation you have already experienced, but I cannot be sure; there may still be some other things you will notice, or feel in yourself as you adjust."

"That’s the thing," Alec sighed, swirling his thumb over Magnus’ hand, "I feel _normal_. I feel like me. I don’t feel any different aside from these things."

Magnus watched the sharp stab of his thumb through the air towards his wings and gave a small nod. "The same strength? Focus? Thoughts?"

"Everything," Alec insisted.

"Even your parabatai rune?" Magnus asked after a short pause, Jace’s words about feeling a connection still there when Alec was missing coming back to him.

"It’s… different," Alec said after shifting enough to hold Magnus’ hand against the couch cushions while pulling his shirt up just enough to look. "It’s… I know it’s there. I can feel him. But it’s different—it’s distant. Like it’s been stretched too far, or something. I don’t even know if it’ll work if either of us is in trouble."

"Let’s hope we don’t have to find out," Magnus replied, squeezing his fingers, and receiving a soft kiss.

"So there’s… all of that to get used to. And I have to speak to the Clave at some point."

Magnus closed his eyes, remembering the call he’d made to Maryse as Alec had been sleeping when he'd first got him home, and the tearful reunion between Maryse, Robert, Max, and Alec there in their lounge just the day before.

"Your mother is certainly no fan of the Clave," Magnus smiled, her fury at their abandonment of Alec and all the other Shadowhunters that had been missing still simmering over in her daily messages and calls for them.

"I don’t blame her," Alec huffed, "they’ve not exactly treated her well."

"I think she was more concerned with your treatment, actually."

"Yeah, well, I guess she knows even more of what they’re capable of than I do," Alec sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch.

"If your mother fears some kind of… retribution, or punishment; even a physical examination of you now that you’re… not a Shadowhunter, perhaps it is something you should be concerned about as well," Magnus said, as gentle as he could put it for not knowing how Alec might react.

"I don’t trust them," Alec retorted, and it seemed the only admission he was willing to make. Magnus squeezed his hand and allowed his head to fall on Alec’s shoulder, hoping for the strength to prop Alec up over the next few difficult days.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alec is in pain because his warlock mark is coming through.


	2. Chapter 2

"Where’d you find me, Magnus?" Alec asked, playing with Magnus’ necklaces against his chest, repeatedly pressing kisses into his skin.

Magnus closed his eyes, pulling Alec tighter to him as he raised his head to press his nose into his hair and inhaling. All they seemed to have done in the past few days since getting Alec back was lounge around the apartment; not that Magnus was complaining about that, of course. The longer they stayed curled up together, the harder Magnus thought it might be to let Alec out of his sight, a fierce streak of protectiveness coursing through him ever since Alec had called to announce to the Clave that he'd returned.

That phone call had been derogatory, with Alec's eyes growing wider by the second for the accusations thrown at him, that Magnus was relieved he'd insisted he put on speaker for him to hear so he could offer his support. A curt, unnamed voice dismissing Alec with the instructions to _contact his local Institute when feeling better_ had left Alec quiet for hours. Magnus had done his best gather as much information as he could since then, and field calls, so Alec could have a little time to get used to the idea that he was no longer part of the life he'd always known.

"You were in a cave," Magnus replied, thinking of the deep cavernous pit he’d found himself in tracking Alec, the walls of black rock surfaces catching in his conjured lamp and glinting back at him like a thousand sets of eyes.

"Where?"

"Not far from where the rift first appeared. On that island," Magnus added, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"But we did it, right? Defeated them?" Alec asked, shifting a little, abandoning the necklaces to tuck in even closer to him.

"You did, Alec. You all fought long and hard, and you—"

"But a warlock must have closed the rift," Alec interrupted, lifting his head to look at him in concern. Magnus had spoken to as many warlocks as he could to give him a better picture of what had happened at the rift since the information coming from the Clave was so lacking.

"It wasn’t me," Magnus smiled, "the High Warlock of Minas Gerais, Marcia Cardoso, worked tirelessly to close it. In fact, I'm told she closed it within minutes; it was the demons who had already breached that were… problematic."

"And we got them all?" Alec asked again, raising himself up just enough for a kiss before dropping his head down once more, settling back against Magnus’ chest. Alec’s questions had been relentless once they'd started coming; not that Magnus could blame him, pride surging hard in his chest for just how much Alec cared about those he worked with and what he did—and sorrow that both those things were likely forever out of his grasp.

"You did, Alexander," Magnus assured him, feeling another flood of relief that felt like it might be unending for having Alec back.

"And there were… how many did we lose?" Alec asked, swallowing thickly. Magnus circled his hands over Alec’s back and kissed the top of his head again. It had to be so hard for Alec; waking to find the world he'd built up around him had been snatched from beneath his feet, through no fault of his own. Having to ask questions of a _warlock_ to know what had happened to the people he'd once fought alongside.

Magnus paused for a moment wondering how best to answer, how tactful to be with the information he had, and squeezed him tight in renewed relief for having him back.

"According to what your mother has heard: thirty-two were listed missing, including you. One made her way to the Ceará Institute, five were found dead together. Seven more bodies were found separately, and those still unaccounted for at this moment total at nine. Which, I suppose for the scale of the operation, is quite remarkable."

"And—"

"No one from New York suffered anything more than scratches and broken bones. Your team did you proud, Alexander."

"They're not my team anymore, Magnus."

Magnus closed his eyes, wishing he had something to soothe him with, but finding nothing. Alec’s position as Head of the New York Institute was something firmly in his past, the Clave had all but abandoned him, and there would be countless sleepless nights ahead for them both trying to imagine what Alec's future might now hold. "I honestly don’t know."

"I think you’re right though," Alec said then looking up at him, and propping his chin up on his chest.

"About?"

"Us leaving here for a while if they don’t let me back there. Which they aren't gonna do, I know; I guess I'm just… waiting for the formality of it."

Magnus refrained from saying that wasn’t quite what he’d meant, that what he was suggesting was Alec take some time for himself to learn his new abilities and limits, away from prying eyes and the burden of responsibilities—or more accurately, the burden of no longer _having_ responsibilities. "It would give you time to adjust."

"And you’re sure it’s not gonna mess up your work, or you can pass it on, or something?" Alec asked for what Magnus counted to be the fifth time.

"Alexander," he smiled, leaning for a kiss, "you are more important; I will not allow you to go through this alone. So even if it meant us leaving this very second, and my clients having to do without for a short period, I would do it. I can arrange my schedule as I see fit, and will portal back if there are any emergencies; work from… wherever we end up, should you decide it is what you need."

"I think it’s probably for the best," Alec sighed. "I don’t think I can… I think I might concentrate better on all of this _stuff_ , if I’m not here."

"I agree," Magnus replied, "but whenever you are ready, Alec."

* * *

"That’s it, Alec, just like that."

Magnus watched with his breath held, as under Catarina’s instruction, Alec first flared his wings and grimaced at them over his shoulder, then stared back at her with a determined scowl. Alec took a deep breath, forcing his fingers from their tight fists down by his sides and pressing them against his legs; unnecessary for the glamor he was attempting, yet if it helped him focus until the glamor became more second nature, then it could be nothing but good.

Magnus’ eyes were drawn to the flutter of Alec’s wings, watching them continue to fade and thrive in a pulse as Alec learned to control their visibility and presence. Alec hadn’t permitted him to touch them yet, insisting that Magnus use his own magic to glamor them until he could himself, yet to do so from a distance. But Magnus hoped one day he’d find out for himself if those glossy black wings were just as soft to the touch as he imagined they would be.

He also wondered if Alec would _feel_ anything from him touching his wings, but didn’t think it was wise to raise the subject with Alec being so against having them in the first place. Besides; Catarina was right there with them, and it was no place for him to allow his thoughts to spiral as they might.

"See?" Catarina smiled. "You’re a natural."

"I don’t know about that," Alec grumbled, still watching as the wings flickered in and out, then squaring his shoulders when they finally disappeared.

"You are," she insisted. "Now, concentrate. This part of the glamor is hardest, but once you perfect it, it’ll be like putting on a sweater."

Alec nodded, looking hopeful, closed his eyes for a moment, then sank visibly in relief when the wings stayed disappeared.

"It gets easier, Alec. I promise," Catarina smiled, lifting her chin a fraction and immediately revealing her true skin color before snapping it back to the one Magnus and Alec were more familiar with; even if Magnus did think her warlock marked skin to be the most beautiful shade of blue.

"Thanks, Catarina," Alec smiled, reaching out and squeezing her hand in gratitude, then bending to pick up his shirt and shrugging back into it, sinking down beside Magnus on the couch.

"No problem," she smiled.

"I’m… I guess it’s stupid, but I… I had visions of having to make holes in all my shirts or something."

"Warlocks with wings generally manipulate them enough so that they aren’t… _earthly_ ," Magnus settled for saying, wishing for a better word.

"Aside from those who _like_ having their wings on display all the time," Catarina added with a wicked glint that told Magnus she was remembering a warlock from many years ago. The man had pursued Magnus ruthlessly for almost three weeks before catching the eye of a warlock with lizard-like skin, who also was more than happy to have his warlock mark on permanent display, appearing naked almost all the time.

"Yeah," Alec huffed, shaking his head, "I can’t imagine being all that welcome walking down the street with these things on show."

Magnus then thought of Alec shirtless in their apartment and those wings on proud display, and chided himself for being inappropriate.

"Are you ready for your meeting at the Institute?" Catarina asked, a lazy wave of her hand summoning a tray of tea that Magnus knew even if Alec didn’t contained ingredients meant to calm him.

"As I’m gonna be," Alec replied, mumbling his thanks as he watched her pour the tea.

"I have no intention of letting him out of my sight," Magnus added. It almost broke his heart that Alec didn’t even attempt to offer an objection, apparently already resigned to unscrupulous tactics from the place he’d always belonged.

Exactly one week after Alec had called the Clave to announce his return, he had been summoned for a meeting at the Institute, the message opening with _trusting that you are feeling better_ and closing with _looking forward to your cooperation_. Ostensibly it was to collect first-hand reports of those Shadowhunters on the ground during the recent demon attack, though news about the renewed heavy-handedness of some Shadowhunters with those amongst the Downworlders had spread fast, and Izzy confirmed just a few nights earlier that her fears about a shift to stricter practices was already taking place. Shadowhunters from other Institutes drafted in, New York Shadowhunters moved elsewhere; apparently to be retrained on the correct way to perform their duties, and including, not to Magnus' surprise, the threat of removal and separation of Izzy, Clary, and Jace.

"Wise move," Catarina agreed. "From what I hear, the new _temporary_ Head of Institute is worse than that fool Aldertree."

"I think I met him when I portaled to the Institute looking for news of Alec," Magnus admitted, describing him briefly, then flinching at Alec’s abrupt groan.

"Jarod Rivas," Alec sighed, taking a sip of his tea, "he was the one who tried to arrange for Seelies to have their wings clipped, and talked about having vampire fangs filed _for their own safety_."

"The one who suggested that werewolves could control their _urges_ by willing themselves not to transform?" Magnus asked, groaning himself in disgust.

"Yes," Alec nodded. "He said if that didn’t work then they could be retrained, like, dog behavior classes. He's made a name for himself in some of our less… uh—"

"Humane Institutes?" Magnus suggested. "Those firmly stuck in the Time of the Angels?"

"Yeah," Alec agreed with a tired sigh.

"So let me get this straight. You’ve worked, tirelessly, for almost two years, to get New York into the kind of shape where Downworlders feel safe, co-exist happily alongside Mundanes, and Shadowhunters, and Downworlder crime is down by something like eighty percent, and now they’re coming along and tearing it all down?"

The furious incredulity on Catarina’s face was only a reflection of the frustration Magnus felt himself. To watch everything Alec had worked for being dismantled in the space of just a few weeks was heartbreaking. The Downworld Cabinet had been so successfully running, that patrol numbers had been reduced, and Shadowhunters had increased their practical training, even learning new skills that they’d previously had no time for due to their workload.

And more than anything, people felt _safe_. No more flinching away into back alleys for lone Downworlders when Shadowhunters passed, nothing more than polite nods or stopping just to make conversation when Shadowhunters saw Downworlders going about their day to day lives. It had even improved the relationships between the Downworlders themselves, with Luke's pack and Raphael's clan tolerating each other enough to attend shared functions with barely a sneer either way.

"I should’ve seen it coming," Alec said, frowning down at the cup balanced against his thigh.

"Alexander," Magnus said softly, "you had no way of knowing this would happen. And you had no control over that demon attack."

"True. But the Clave still act like I deserted, or something," Alec retorted, and Magnus wanted to relive the call when the Clave had said just that to him, reach through the phone, and throttle everyone involved.

"Have you any idea what they’re going to propose? For you?" Catarina asked, her eyes on Alec over the lip of her cup.

"I’m sure I’ll be told there’s no way I’m fit to run an Institute anywhere anymore," Alec replied with an eye roll. "And I’m also sure they’ll still expect me to stick around, do as I’m told."

"There was a suggestion that given Alec’s new warlock… status, and our lack of certainty about how that came to be, that he submit to be tested, to _help determine what happened_ ," Magnus added, his mouth curling up in distaste for even having to say the words.

"Pretty sure they got the message with my answer," Alec snorted, taking another sip of his tea.

Magnus smiled, remembering the uncharacteristic cursing that had spewed from Alec’s mouth before he’d ended the call, refusing to answer any further ones and corresponding only by fire message to arrange the time and date of the meeting.

"What did they have to say about not putting out a search for you when you were missing?" Catarina asked, indignance filling her tone.

"Nothing," Alec scoffed, "why would they? It’s standard practice; during times—missions like that one, Shadowhunters that _fall behind_ are supposed to fend for themselves."

"You never let a single Shadowhunter from the Institute _fall behind_ ," Magnus argued. "You worked late into the night on several occasions, even went out and searched yourself when your own people were missing."

"Yeah, well, that’s different," Alec sighed, draining the rest of his tea and pushing the cup back on to the table.

"That’s _good_ different. It’s leadership, Alec," Catarina told him firmly. "You should still _be_ Head of the Institute. No one else has ever earned the trust of so many Downworlders yet still managed to work within the Clave. You're a credit to Shadowhunters; not one to be sneered at."

"I’m not a Shadowhunter anymore. I don’t have any right to be there; not in a position of power, anyway. Maybe as something for them to run _tests_ on—"

"I am sure my presence there at the Institute with Alec for the duration of the meeting will only be tolerated because of a loophole in the Clave's own laws," Magnus added, waving his hand in irritation, and needing to force away the images Alec's words put in his head.

"Where’s Madzie?" Alec asked then, eyes darting around the room looking for a distraction. In truth Magnus had hoped for her being there for that very reason. Alec loved Madzie, his face lighting up with joy the second he saw her every time—even more than his own surely did.

"She has a playdate with a little girl from kindergarten," Catarina smiled, full of pride. "I have to pick her up in a few hours; I’m already expecting a sugar high and no sleep tonight."

Magnus smiled at that image, reaching out absently to squeeze over Alec’s thigh.

"We’ll be sure to come visit if we do decide to leave," Magnus told her, already picturing an ideal location far away from New York for just him and Alec, giving Alec ample time and space to learn to use and control his magic.

"Madzie will never let me hear the end of it if you don’t," Catarina smiled, leaning forward to refill their cups.

"So. How are things at the hospital?" Magnus asked, feeling the tension of Alec by his side, and wanting to move on to a more neutral subject, hoping to keep Alec’s mind from wandering to their impending meeting. Alec reached up to slot his fingers through Magnus' against his knee, squeezing hard enough to suggest he was trying to anchor himself.

* * *

"If you think, for one moment, that I would leave him to endure whatever this meeting is going to entail, you are vastly mistaken."

Magnus trembled with rage at the arrogance of their greeting, surrounded by armed guard the moment they arrived in the Institute and marched through to Alec’s former office, already stripped of any evidence of his presence. Magnus scanned the walls, floor, and trash can for the photo of the two of them together at the very least, and found nothing.

"As I told you once before, Mr. Bane; you are not to return to this Institute unless you receive an invitation."

Magnus looked Jarod Rivus up and down with increasing loathing, tilting his chin in defiance and standing resolutely by Alec’s side. The man was a little shorter than him, with neat, dark hair gelled perfectly into place, and piercing blue eyes that seethed with rage for being interrupted. Magnus had disliked him before, but seeing him so snide and smug had Magnus having to control his temper against lashing out.

"He’s here by my invitation," Alec retorted just as bitingly, arms folded behind his back in his usual stance, and unbudging.

"I suppose it is of no matter," Jarod sighed, waving his hand in dismissal of the guards who had escorted them. "Neither of you has clearance for anything, so what we discuss here will be minimal."

Magnus flinched on behalf of Alec at Jarod’s words, but otherwise didn’t move.

"There is absolutely no reason for _clearance_ to have been taken from Magnus," Alec argued.

"On the contrary," Jarod retorted with a glare at Magnus. "Either we can argue that he has been aiding a traitor to the Clave—"

"Me? I'm a traitor? How—"

"Or, that he is solely responsible for convincing you to turn your back on your duties," Jarod continued with a seething look for them both.

"I didn't ask for this to happen—"

"No, of course not. You're just an innocent bystander who let all of these terrible things happen to you. You left your Institute without a Head, you allowed your _relations_ with Mr. Bane to cloud your judgment, and forgot your duties to your own people—"

"I—"

"And you allowed yourself to be stripped of the blood that made you a Shadowhunter to become… _that_ ," Jarod finished with a dismissive look for Alec. "There is no argument you can make that will justify your behavior, nor anything you can ever do make up for it. I would say that you are a disgrace to the Clave, but that would mean you were still some kind of part of it, and you are not. You are nothing."

"Then what do you want to _discuss_?" Alec demanded, ignoring Jarod’s wave towards the chairs to the other side of his desk. Jarod sighed again, moving nonchalantly to his seat and sitting, talking more to the desk than either of them. "If I'm, like you said, _nothing_ to the Clave, then why the hell did they ask me to come here to be _interviewed_? I already sent in my report about the mission—"

"Isn’t it intriguing, that you were missing for more than two weeks, with no sighting of you anywhere, and yet with one quick portal from Mr. Bane here, you were recovered in a matter of minutes?"

"The only thing _intriguing_ about that is the Clave’s blatant lack of duty to the Shadowhunters fighting on its behalf," Magnus retorted.

"Mr. Bane," Jarod replied, sounding bored, "this meeting is to discuss what happened to Mr. Lightwood _with_ Mr. Lightwood. You are here merely as a courtesy. I suggest you don’t interrupt."

"Magnus is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He has been providing his services to the New York Institute for—"

"Too long," Jarod finished for Alec, looking him up and down in disdain. "Believe me; it is on the long list of things that are under review about this place."

"The New York Institute—"

"Tell me, _Alec_ ," Jarod continued, with his fingers drumming against a small stack of papers on the desk. "How is it that you were missing for so long, yet when Mr. Bane found you, you were in the very same spot you were last seen? How did you survive there for more than two weeks with no food, no fresh water, likely not much in the way of warmth, or shelter—"

"Like I said during our call; I don’t know," Alec retorted. "I remember fighting. Being inundated with demons, and then sharp pain to my upper arm—"

"Do you believe you were bitten?" Jarod asked, turning slightly and looking up at him with greedy intent. "Is that how you became like _this_? Because the same fate has not befallen any other Shadowhunter that was bitten—"

"He has no physical evidence of a bite. No scarring," Magnus replied, cutting him off.

"Oh, and of course, you would have inspected that."

Alec bristled at the tone of Jarod’s words and took a step forward. "Listen—"

"Do you believe it was the injury you sustained from the demon that is responsible for your… condition?" Jarod continued, as though there had been no interruption.

"It’s not a _condition_ ," Magnus told him, fighting to control his anger, "he is a warlock."

"Infliction, then," Jarod amended with a look of pure disgust for Magnus, and Magnus realized undoubtedly that their worst fears were true; the prejudice and segregation of the Shadow World that Alec had long fought against, and that Magnus hadn’t seen in its true hatefulness in decades, was creeping in right before their eyes.

"Enough—"

"I will decide what is enough, Mr. Lightwood," Jarod replied testily, spitting the words out as though Alec was something vulgar. "Now. You will tell me what happened—"

"I already told you. I don't know. I don’t remember."

"We can always reacquaint you with the Silent Brothers. See if they can help jog your memory. I wonder what they could do to you now, with that fledgling magic beneath your skin?"

"You will not touch him," Magnus replied, stepping forward and in front of Alec, towering over Jarod, who didn’t flinch, and even cracked a smile.

"How sentimental of you."

"As the High Warlock of Brooklyn, any warlock in this area automatically comes under my protection. You would do well not to forget that."

Jarod looked him up and down, smiling triumphantly. "That is true. For now."

"Do you know anything about the demons? The species? Where they’re from?" Alec asked, stepping slightly to the side, with Magnus moving back to stand beside him.

"Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Lightwood. But you no longer have any clearance or _need_ to know the inner workings of the Clave. Or this Institute, for that matter."

"My sister—"

"Ah, yes," Jarod smiled, "the delightful Isabel. I hear she is thriving in a laboratory setting back in Idris."

"You sent her to Idris?" Alec repeated, sounding incredulous.

"It was her choice. Idris, or some far off Institute we’re attempting to establish somewhere in the middle of the Pacific."

"You—"

"Your parabatai, in case you’re interested, is in Los Angeles under strict supervision. It’s been established that his _connection_ to you through that rune—" Jarod waved a dismissive hand towards Alec’ side— "is of no use to us."

"No use?" Alec repeated, haltingly.

"We are unable to track you with it. We are unable to _do_ anything with it. So it is of no use to us." Jarod spoke slowly as though Alec was stupid, and Magnus once again had to fight to keep his temper under control.

"And Clary?"

"In London."

At least knowing that Izzy, Jace, and Clary had been moved to other Institutes might explain their lack of contact with them over the last few days, Magnus thought, though didn't point it out to Alec.

"London," Alec repeated. "Clary’s lived in New York her whole life. She doesn’t know anywhere else."

"I’m fairly sure they still speak English in London; even if it is a bastardization of the real thing."

"You—"

"Look, Alec," Jarod sighed, leaning back in his chair and looking bored. "If you have nothing to tell us that’s of any use to our operations here, and your… I'm not sure what to call you, now, _Magnus_ ; are you his leader? _Master_?"

"You—"

"If he will not _allow_ you at this time to submit to the testing we have every right to demand of you, then I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave. Though don’t go too far," he added turning back to Alec, and narrowing his eyes, "we may still have need to speak with you."

"If I haven’t got anything _of use_ to tell you now, then I’m not gonna suddenly—"

"Your personal effects," Jarod said, cutting him off and gracefully rising to his feet, walking towards the shelving to the back of the room and pulling down a small box, then crossing back to shove it against Alec’s chest.

"Let’s go, Alec," Magnus urged gently when Alec froze to the spot, apparently so bewildered that he’d lost the ability to move. After a discreet nudge into his side, Alec looked back at him as though in a daze, then silently walked behind him as they made their way out the office.

There was not one Shadowhunter that Magnus recognized in passing as they walked the hallways of the Institute for what was probably the final time. Eyes firmly fixed elsewhere as though he and Alec were invisible, even one or two blocking their way deliberately until he glared hard enough for them to be stumbling backward. They made it outside, taking a couple of steps before Magnus could conjure a portal, then gently guiding Alec through.

"Magnus," Alec said, still dazed, looking down at the box in his hands then back up at him so lost.

Magnus couldn’t imagine it, to have his very way of life snatched away with no sympathy, not even any time to adjust. The quake of Alec’s arms said the reality of it was finally sinking in for him, and Magnus carefully took the box from him to push gently on to a table before it was dropped.

"Alexander—"

"Least we know why no one’s been answering their cell phones for a couple of days," Alec said, a half-smile on his face as his bottom lip began to tremble.

"Alex—"

"Magnus," Alec blurted out just before his tears took over, "what am I supposed to do now?"

* * *

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Were you really expecting anything different?"

Alec slumped at Magnus’ words and Magnus wrapped his arms around him a little tighter, muttering soothing nothings as Alec buried his face further into his neck. Not daring to move despite the stiffness of his spine from the way they’d been bunched up on the couch together for hours since returning from the Institute, Magnus counted out another five minutes before attempting to speak again.

"I don’t mean to be cruel, Alexander, but there is no way the Clave would allow—"

"I know, Magnus," Alec mumbled into his neck with a blast of air, pressing his nose there for a second then pulled back just enough for Magnus to be able to wriggle a hand out from between them and thumb the last tears from his cheeks. "I guess I just thought that—"

"They would at least be civil?" Magnus finished for him unable to hold his tongue.

"How can everything be so different in just a few weeks?" Alec asked, though there was no fight to it.

"I don’t know."

"How can this be all I’ve got left in the Institute?" Alec added with a soft, mirthless laugh, sitting up and wiping his eyes over with the backs of his hands, then sitting more upright, and giving Magnus space to move.

Magnus watched as he dragged the box over to his lap, first picking up the picture frame and smiling at their photo, then passing it for Magnus to hold as he looked through the remaining things. One jacket, a small stack of pictures painted by Madzie, and saved messages from Max. A spare pair of boots, a half bottle of the hair product Alec kept in his desk drawer—generally to tidy himself up with after Magnus had visited. And that was it; Alec upended the box and huffed to himself, dropping it to the floor and shoving the remaining items to the end of the couch.

"Most of your things are already here," Magnus pointed out, desperate to know what Alec was thinking.

"Magnus; everything that’s important to me is here in our home."

Magnus smiled at that, refraining from reminding Alec about his sister, and Jace, and Clary, and all the other important people in his life. He understood the sentiment; staring back at Alec Magnus couldn’t picture anything more important than him. So Magnus leaned forward a little to nuzzle against his cheek, waiting to see if Alec was ready for a kiss.

Alec’s hand was out and curling gently around the nape of Magnus’ neck, closing the gap between them as he kissed him with a soft sigh, that on its own felt to Magnus a lot like coming home. The past week had seen such raw emotion between them. Relief at having Alec back, and safe, soared through Magnus every moment, yet the fear in Alec’s eyes when he couldn’t control his wings, or a surge of magic flared up from his palm and spun out of control, was an ever present reminder of how different things now were. He refused to consider them _lows_ , yet they were enough to have Magnus’ heart pounding in alarm, for at times having no idea how Alec was going to react, or how to reach him.

So Alec reaching out to kiss him, and that kiss feeling like resigned acceptance of what had just happened at the Institute, had Magnus allowing a little more relief to seep through him as he kissed him back.

"Maybe we should think about going somewhere," Alec pulled back just enough to say, catching his eye and holding Magnus’ gaze for a second before leaning back in for another kiss.

"Maybe that would be for the best," Magnus agreed, shuffling a little closer to Alec, and when urged straddling his lap, wrapping his arms loose around Alec’s neck.

"Magnus," he whispered, "I need you."

"You have me, Alec."

"I _need_ you," Alec insisted, fingers tight around his waist to pull him closer, getting Magnus' attention in an entirely different way.

Since Alec's wings had erupted through his back, the only intimacy Alec had wanted was to be held, and any attempts by Magnus to turn it into anything else had been turned away with an embarrassed, _I can't_. Magnus knew what he feared, part of it anyway; he'd felt the same when they had first been together, terrified of Alec's reaction if he lost control of the glamor on his cat eyes. He regularly did, and Alec had nothing but awe in his expression every time it happened, but Magnus could understand how daunting it must be for Alec.

"You have me, Alexander," he whispered, ducking to press a kiss to his cheek.

"And if I… if they… I'm not ready to—"

"I won't touch them, Alexander," Magnus promised, his fingers up to stroke the nape of his neck. "If _that_ happens; I promise that I won't do anything before you tell me it's okay. I won't even look; there is enough about you to have my full attention not to even notice."

Alec snorted a little at that and swept his hands up Magnus' sides, encouraging him to sit back. "Is it weird for you that I'm so weirded out by _them_?"

"Of course not. We might have spoken about you becoming a warlock many times, but we never really discussed the possibility of you having a mark. I'm not sure I ever took the time to consider it."

"Me neither," Alec admitted with a small nod, then looked up at him shyly. "Doesn't mean I'm not okay with this. I just—"

"It's okay, Alec," Magnus assured him, cupping his face to pull him up for a kiss. "I understand."

"No one else would," Alec sighed.

"No one else needs to. This is your body, your warlock mark."

"Can we go to bed, Magnus?" Alec asked, squeezing around his waist for them to stand. Magnus eased himself from Alec's lap then pulled him to his feet, feeling the tremble in Alec's hands as he raised them to cup his face. Magnus smiled, covering his hands with his own, ready to wait for as long as Alec needed, to even pull back altogether if that was what he asked.

Alec wrapped his thumbs around Magnus' to squeeze for a second then tugged his hands down, leading him to their bedroom and closing the door behind him. The worry on his face had Magnus ache for Alec, wishing there was more he could do to reassure him, or put him at ease.

Magnus stepped closer to Alec, pressing his fingers against his stomach through his shirt and leaning in for a kiss, keeping it unhurried but humming for every duck and angling of their mouths together, so Alec could hear with honesty how much he was enjoying it. Alec's hands were still trembling as he raised them to sweep down Magnus' arms, the tension in Alec's body telling Magnus how conflicted he was with trying to keep his wings glamored, giving in to what he wanted with him, and fear of the unknown.

"I love you, Alexander," Magnus whispered, slotting his hands beneath Alec's shirt to press up and ease off over his head.

"I love you," Alec replied, stuttering fingers doing the same with Magnus' shirt, his skin rippling as their chests pressed together, giving Magnus the impression he was holding his breath.

"Alec," Magnus whispered, but Alec could only answer with a stiff shake of his hand, kissing him hard as his fingers fought to free them both of the remainder of their clothes, seeming to need the focus on a task he could handle when there was so little else he could control.

Alec's breath came out in short, sharp pants, his lips missing Magnus' every time he tried to kiss him, hands flitting up over his sides as though he had no idea where to put them. Magnus unglamored his eyes to try to encourage him, but that did little but speed up those gasps, with Alec looking increasingly more worried, and to Magnus' horror, tears beginning to prick his eyes.

"Magnus, I can't," he blasted out, his jaw beginning to tremble, lips parting in a confused gape as though horrified with himself.

"It's okay, Alec—"

"It isn't," Alec wailed out mournfully, "I want this. I want _you_. And I—"

"Do you think I want you any less, Alexander?"

"Magnus—"

"It's just me, Alec. Just me; I will love you no matter what," Magnus urged, squeezing around his waist wondering what the thing would be to make him understand.

"Magnus," Alec said, the word coming out broken, and Alec trembling so hard Magnus had no idea what might reach him. He took Alec by the wrist, pressed his palm against his own chest and slid it to flatten out over his heart.

"Do you feel that? That is racing, because of you. Because I _want_ you, Alec."

"But—"

"And this?" Magnus continued, still gripping lightly around his wrist and dragging it down his chest, wrapping Alec's fingers around his own length through his pants and humming for the feel it. "This is what you do to me, without even trying."

"Magnus—"

"Please don't hide yourself from me, Alec," Magnus whispered, encouraging Alec to stroke him, thrusting a little into his hand. "Because I love all of you; everything that you show me, everything you think I don't notice. I love _you_ , Alec. Every part."

Magnus reached out then, wrapping one hand around his cock, and steadying the other on his hip, smiling sadly as Alec stuttered for it in that confused way of _wanting_ , yet still trying to hold back.

"Alexander," Magnus whispered, continuing to stroke and squeeze him, monitoring his every expression, and when the tremble in Alec's gasps shifted more to ones of pleasure than of terror, Magnus crowded a little closer, ducking to make eye contact and smiling. "Let go."

Alec stumbled forward, kissing back with more enthusiasm than he had since the first time they'd got him home, shaking fingers out to touch Magnus and growing in more confidence with every murmur of encouragement. Magnus kissed back just as hard, rocking into Alec's hand as he swirled his thumb up over Alec's head, rewarding him with a pleased hum for the moan punching out his mouth. And with a desperate whimper, Alec backed him up until Magnus' legs were bumping against the side of the bed. A teary gasp blasted from his lips, the concentration on his glamor failing, his back stooping then straightening up, and the beating of those wings behind him stealing Alec's breath. The shadow of them unable to avoid noticing, for the way they blotted out light from the window where they were stood.

"You're beautiful, Alec," Magnus urged, not dropping his grip on him, kissing back even firmer, and thrusting harder into his hand, needing to show Alec nothing had changed in his desire for him.

Alec's breath came out erratic but he kept going, tumbling them on to the bed and slotting between Magnus' legs immediately to rut against him. His wings fanned out behind him, and Alec shook his head in denial, further tears budding in his eyes. Magnus slotted his fingers through the back of Alec's hair as he kissed him, nudging him up just enough so he had room to snap his fingers to slick them up, then working himself open at an awkward angle.

"I need _you_ , Alec," he told him, raising and splaying his legs, and reaching for Alec to guide him into him.

Alec stuttered out a broken groan as he filled him, bracing on his forearms, with Magnus able to feel every tremble coursing through them. Magnus swept his hands up Alec's back under his wings taking care not to touch them, then slid them down to grip his ass, and arched up beneath him, encouraging Alec to move.

"You're beautiful," he whispered again, straining up enough to capture his lips, and smiling as Alec kissed him back briefly, then ducked to hide his head in Magnus' neck.

Alec mouthed at him for a moment, his heart pounding hard against Magnus' chest, and then he shifted just enough to withdraw himself, driving back into him smoothly, and blasting out a moan. Instinct took over with every thrust, and those kisses mouthed along Magnus' neck became less breathy and more focused, accompanied by soft groans of pleasure as he found his rhythm, spreading his hands wider against the bed to brace himself as he rolled his hips.

Magnus angled himself up to join him, his own tears starting to threaten now that Alec had control of his, a sudden burst of realization that they hadn't been together as intimately as they were right then for longer than any period during their time together.

"I love you," Alec mumbled into his jaw before kissing him sweetly, growing more confident, and beginning to chase the angles in Magnus that he knew would have him calling out. He smiled in reward when he did, unaware of the way his wings were flaring out and showing his own pleasure; Magnus tried not to look, but when he couldn't stop instead hid the look of awe that must have been threatening to show in his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered, fingers back through Alec's hair, one hand wedged between them to work himself, chasing kisses and smiling for every one of Alec's groans. Finishing himself off quickly as Alec drove into him with a final, shuddered groan, then wrapping him up in his arms with a careful avoidance of his wings, sighing out in relief as Alec tucked himself into his neck.

* * *

"Magnus. Do you think I’ll be able to open a portal someday?"

Magnus turned from the potion he was almost finished making to smile at Alec where he was sprawled out on the couch, watching his own hand in curiosity as wisps of emerald green magic drifted up from his palm. They’d barely tried to do anything with his magic yet aside from Magnus trying to help Alec realize it was a part of him he could control; not that he could control it that much currently, Magnus added with a smile, watching Alec’s eyes grow startled as that lazy drift of magic became a violent, flame-like blast, and Magnus had to stand up from the armchair he’d been working from, perch on the edge of the couch, and slowly curl Alec’s fingers over into a fist, shutting his magic off.

"Someday," he agreed with a squeeze of his fingers over Alec’s before withdrawing them. "First, we need you to get a sense of your magic. For you to feel that it is a part of you, instead of some separate _thing_."

"Yeah," Alec replied looking down at his fist doubtfully, then reaching out to grab Magnus’ hand to keep him from standing. "I don’t know how that’s gonna work."

"Alexander," Magnus smiled, leaning forward to kiss him, "you will master this; you _will_. You just need to give yourself some time."

"I guess _that’s_ something I’ve got now," Alec said with a rueful smile, reaching out to snag a finger in the chain around Magnus’ neck to keep him in place for another kiss.

"See? You’re already thinking positively about it," Magnus teased, nuzzling against him.

"That’s ‘cos I get _you_ forever out of it. That’s the best thing about all of this."

Magnus hummed in answer and pressed another kiss to his cheek, then nodded towards the potion still brewing, not wanting it to be spoiled.

"I admit this is very—this is not something I have ever had to consider before."

"Magnus?"

"I mean," Magnus said as he picked up a fresh stirrer and checked on the viscosity of the potion by watching how slowly it dripped back into the cauldron. "I’ve never had to _learn_ how to accept my magic. I’m not saying I didn’t have to learn how to use it, but it has always been a part of me, for as long as I can remember. I didn’t have to learn to accept it in the same way that you do."

"It still can’t have been easy for you," Alec replied, swinging his legs to the floor then shuffling along the couch so he could better watch what Magnus was doing.

"It wasn’t," he agreed, allowing just a moment of remembering the terror he’d felt at the first burst of magic he’d felt seeping through his skin. "But I think it must feel very different to suddenly have this entire new part of yourself, rather than a part that’s just been a quiet, or dormant part of you since birth."

"I guess."

"And your warlock mark," Magnus continued, cautiously, already seeing the flicker of uncertainty on Alec’s face. "That is something I have never had to deal with. Cat eyes, whilst distinctive, are a relatively small thing to have to conceal. If all else fails, I can live my life perpetually behind sunglasses, or pretend I have exotic contacts. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel about yours."

Alec nodded, his elbows pressed just above his knees as he turned his hands back over to study them. "It’s not that I’m… Magnus; however this happened, however I got to being here like this? Like, a warlock? I know I already told you that, but I need you to know it. That’s not the part of this that’s weirding me out. I think I always knew something like this would happen at some point—preferably that I’d get a choice in it."

"You knew this would happen, because of me," Magnus added, swallowing back the bile in his throat and fixing on a smile that he knew couldn’t disguise his guilt.

"Yes, because of you," Alec agreed with a warm smile, "‘cos you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me."

Magnus smiled back, stuck in Alec’s knowing gaze until he relented, and that guilt began to drop a little.

"But I just… If I’d had time to get used to the idea of _wings_. If I could have had a choice of what mark I’d have in the first place, or… I don’t know, Magnus. If we could have found a demon that would’ve given me a mark that’s more discreet—"

"It doesn’t work like that," Magnus said gently, having to look away to add the final ingredients to the potion and give it a final store, then back to him in contrition.

"I know," Alec agreed, staring back down at his hands. "So, yeah; if I’d… maybe if I’d have time to get used to the idea of _having_ a mark, then I’d… maybe I wouldn't feel so—I don’t really know how to explain it."

"Perhaps it would help to try," Magnus suggested, though kept his attention firmly on the potion so Alec had room to talk, already pouring it into a flask and sending out a blast of magic to clean everything up.

"You know how you said the magic is a part of me—you, and that it feels like a part of you?"

"Yes."

"Well, I already feel like mine is. It’s… _in_ me, and I can feel it in me, and it feels… I guess it feels _natural_ , you know?"

"And your wings don’t?" Magnus asked, watching the uncertainty on Alec’s face as he tried to explain himself and wishing he could help.

"Magnus; it’s more like I’ve grown this entire new limb—two of ‘em—and I’m… they feel like they’re me, but that they’re not me. That I’m… that I’ve already adjusted how I sit, and stand, to accommodate them, but I know I haven’t; not really. They just feel... separate, as well as not. I’m making no sense," Alec huffed then, slumping back in the couch.

"Alexander," Magnus said, watching the natural slump of Alec’s shoulders that was no different from the way he sat prior to going missing, "I think perhaps… I don’t honestly know how to help you with that, besides glamoring them. Which you have now successfully done three times already on your own."

"With yours and Catarina’s help," Alec pointed out, though sat forward a touch and nodded for Magnus to drop the glamor he was doing for him, peering over his shoulder to frown at a wing as he stretched it out, then took on a look of intense concentration, which morphed into a pleased smile when those wings shimmered then disappeared again out of view.

"See?" Magnus said, so proud of Alec that he was up on his feet and crossing the small space between them to kiss him, then turning to pick up the freshly-made potion and taking it to store away.

"So, where do you think we should go?" Alec asked, up on his feet and following, surprising Magnus when he spun around for how close he was.

"Where do you think is best?" Magnus asked, reaching out to lightly grip his waist and smiling as Alec hooked his elbows over his shoulders, shuffling a step closer. "Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, quiet, where no one else is around? A city where we can… blend in, live some sort of normal existence alongside honing your magic? Anywhere else that you would particularly like to go?"

"Can you choose?" Alec asked, wrapping him up in a hug and kissing his cheek. "My head's so… full, of all this stuff, I can't think straight."

Magnus nodded against him, sweeping a reassuring hand down Alec's back, and tried to think of the perfect place to take him.

* * *

"The problem is, you have been too successful."

Magnus watched Maryse top off Alec’s wine glass then sink down on the seat beside him, and reach out to squeeze his hand. Maryse visiting alone was exactly what Alec needed, Magnus thought, seeing her more relaxed than she had been in the company of her husband and not holding back in her affection for Alec.

She perched beside him on the couch, looking so full of relief, and pride for her son, that Magnus wished he could leave them alone to speak for hours. But there wasn’t time for that; he and Alec were leaving in the morning to give Alec some time to get used to his magic. There was no telling how long they would need to be away, and Magnus had insisted on inviting all the Lightwoods over for one last dinner.

But Izzy was essentially under house arrest in Idris, permitted to work yet not to make contact with the outside world, which was also true of both Jace and Clary—their crimes apparently only an association with Alec, which made no sense at all. Robert was tied up in meetings that Magnus assumed must have to do with the disastrous mission that had led them to where they were. And Max was away training, not permitted to travel anywhere at all.

"What do you mean?" Alec asked with a slight frown, the question bringing Magnus' focus back.

"Alec," Maryse smiled, squeezing his hand a second time, "the New York Institute under your command was a far more cooperative, open… _embracing_ Institute, than the one run by your father."

"Because of the Downworld Cabinet?" Alec asked, sipping at his wine.

"I think that was a large part of it," Magnus added, joining the conversation. "But your general acceptance… willingness to view Downworlders as equals—"

"They _are_ equals," Alec insisted, and added a quieter, " _we_ are," that clenched hard around Magnus’ heart.

"—meant you have earned the trust of so many more Downworlders than I have seen anywhere else," Magnus finished, echoing Alec’s small, proud smile.

"Magnus is right," Maryse said with a smile of her own. "Alec; your Downworld Cabinet is neither the first nor the last attempt at such a thing."

"Meliorn told you that in our very first meeting," Magnus added, smiling in apology only to have Maryse smile back in understanding.

"There are perhaps ten… twelve Institutes around the world with varying levels of similar agreements; though none have been quite as successful as yours."

"I know," Alec agreed with a huff, "and most of them were in South America. But then—"

"Also, possibly, too successful," Maryse added with a pinched smile, knotting Magnus’ stomach for seeing it.

"How can it be _too_ successful if it's better for everyone?" Alec insisted, frowning harder, his fingers tightening around the stem of his glass.

"Alec," Maryse sighed, "you know that your father and I have the… greatest respect for what you have done with the New York Institute. We couldn’t be prouder."

"But?" Alec asked with a shrewd look for her.

"But your efforts are… let’s just say that—you already know that there are those amongst the Clave, who still have far louder voices than they should have, Alec. Who believe that there should be a distinct segregation within the Shadow World; an _us_ and _them_. If it were up to them, there would not even be any friendships between the Downworlders themselves."

"They would prefer that each of our kind stay with our own kind," Magnus translated, having witnessed so many attempts by the Clave to enforce such segregation over the years under the pretense of _protection_ , when it was just an excuse to keep alliances from forming, or confidence rising enough to challenge the Clave for its outdated practices.

"It’s true," Maryse agreed with her eyes falling in shame. "We, as a family, have been a part of that particular mindset— _problem_ —for far too long. It is you, Izzy, Jace, and eventually Max, that have to keep pushing for the changes you have made—move past those _outdated traditions_ that have plagued us for so long."

"Yeah, well; I’m not exactly in a position to make any changes _now_ , am I?" Alec huffed, sitting back a little and sipping at his wine.

Magnus’ heart ached for Alec, thinking of all the late nights they’d had discussing Alec’s hopes and fears for the Downworld Cabinet, things he wanted to change, confessions about his own changed points of view. Magnus couldn't get over the idea of all that had been taken from Alec, all that work, and effort, for nothing. There was nothing in his own life that he thought he could compare it to.

"Izzy is loud and proud, telling anybody that will listen—and especially those in Idris that _won’t_ —why their views about the Downworld are wrong," Maryse said, beaming with pride for her daughter.

"Of course she is," Magnus said, echoing Alec’s own smile.

"Jace, I hear, is causing a ruckus in Los Angeles, where he’s spending every moment of his free time in Downworlder-run bars and… establishments," Maryse added, a slight amount of irritation creeping into her smile.

"That’s Jace," Alec sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Max is getting into more trouble with his trainers these days for arguing about Downworlder rights than conveniently mixing up runes," Maryse added, unable to hide her amusement, and looking over to Magnus. "Apparently, he’s been bragging about having the _coolest warlock_ in the family; though I don’t believe his teachers are particularly impressed."

Magnus hid his snort of laughter behind his wine glass, catching Alec’s eye over the top of it. And Alec continued smiling, apparently lost in his own thoughts for a few moments before sighing, and slumping a little more.

"Not that I’m not happy to hear all of that, because I am," Alec said, taking another sip of his wine and pausing. "But I’m… I can’t even set foot in the Institute again. I can’t—"

"It appears that the new Head of the Institute thinks he has the right to ask Alec to stay close—that Alec should be at his beck and call; perhaps even report willingly for _testing_ ; though the Clave has also said that without making the request formal," Magnus bit out, grimacing in distaste.

"Jarod Rivus is a sniveling, unremarkable bully, who has only risen to power by coercion and intimidation, because of his family’s wealth," Maryse retorted angrily, casting a protective look in Alec’s direction. "He is not fit to organize a dinner party, never mind run an Institute."

"Yeah, well. He _is_ ," Alec sighed again, though with a softer smile for his mom.

"Your first priority now, Alec, is to look after _you_ ," Maryse insisted, reaching out to squeeze his hand again. "Your father may not be here to tell you that in person, but he would if he was; you need to learn… understand your new… this new… part of yourself, learn to accept it, before you can think of anything else."

"I—"

"Because once you are stronger, Alec—once you are in control of your… magic," Maryse added after hesitating, and offering a reassuring smile, "your voice, your leadership, is going to be crucial in shaping our world. At least, this corner of it here in New York."

"You think it’s gonna be as bad as people are saying it is?" Alec asked, seeming to shrink into himself a little.

"This would not be the first time the Clave has reclaimed control of their Institutes when things are not going the way they would like. Nor the first where those Institutes decide to implement the most… controversial of restrictions on the Downworlders under the pretense of security," Maryse replied with a soft sigh and a quick glance in Magnus’ direction. Magnus took the hint, took a sip of his drink, and cleared his throat before speaking.

"There have been four instances when I have personally witnessed such… upheaval within the Clave, and several more that I have heard about," Magnus said, working out how best to put things. "The Clave is known for seizing opportunities such as this."

"It would be no surprise were we to learn that such plans were already in place for an overhaul of the Institutes," Maryse added. "That the situation with this mission provided the perfect timing to implement those changes; or has at least given them an excuse to test them out."

"You make it sound like they were just waiting for something like this to happen," Alec protested, though it was a feeble one. Magnus had already heard his views on what happened behind the scenes at the Clave when he was still Head of the Institute, and knew how much he struggled with reconciling the Clave he was trying to find his part within, with the evidence he had first-hand that the Clave he’d grown up with was not the forthright, law-upholding organization he’d presumed it to be.

"Alec," Maryse said, a little softer, and needed to add nothing else; Alec let out a defeated sigh and gave a stiff nod.

"Whatever happens," Magnus said, "we will need to keep in contact with everyone we can here, so we know what to expect when we return."

"And with me. Us," Maryse added, with Alec reaching out to squeeze her into his side.

"Of course," Magnus replied quietly, making a silent promise to make sure they kept Maryse updated with Alec’s progress, realizing, perhaps belatedly, how accepting she had been of this entire situation with Alec; not pushing for too many details or treating him any different.

"You are still my son, before anything else," Maryse urged then, with tears brightening her eyes, and Magnus wondered how many nights of sleep she must have lost worrying about Alec when he'd been missing, and for what his future might look like now he was back.

"Mom."

Magnus sat back in silence not wanting to interrupt the private moment between them, half-wanting to disappear physically to leave them alone. But then Maryse was pulling back from Alec’s embrace and standing, their drained glasses pushed on the table, and she was crossing the room to pull Magnus into a hug of his own.

"Take care of yourselves. Both of you," she told them, accepting their extended hands and squeezing, pasting on a smile that was edged with concern.

"We’ll speak soon," Alec promised, squeezing her into his side once again. Then Magnus was conjuring her another portal, and she was stepping through, with Alec sagging a little once it closed.

"We don’t have to go anywhere," Magnus told him, wrapping him up in a hug.

"No, we do," Alec disagreed, shaking his head against him. "It’s for the best."

"You might surprise yourself. Adapt to your magic in a matter of days."

"Yeah," Alec huffed. "Or months."

"Alexander—"

"And anyway, it’s not that, exactly. I’m kind of looking forward to being away from here, spending some time with you."

"Then what is it?" Magnus asked, smiling against Alec’s hair.

"What are we gonna come back to, Magnus?"

Magnus had no answer, just wrapped him up a little tighter, and gently swayed Alec in his arms.

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus sipped at his coffee shrugging a little deeper into his sweater, and watched as the mist curled up over the landscape in front of him. The grass closest to him glistened with early morning dew, and a crunching sound coming from beyond the dry-stone wall to the left of the property they were staying in made him smile for the thought of the sheep they’d seen the previous day, whether they were responsible for the noise or not.

Magnus felt peaceful; far more peaceful than he had in about more than a month. With Alec being missing, and the difficulty of the days that had followed after his return, his own need for some quiet had shaped his choice of location, with Alec more than happy to be in the middle of nowhere to practice his magic, knowing Magnus could portal them anywhere should they choose somewhere else to visit.

Allowing himself to breathe deep, Magnus scanned the horizon, watched the hint of hills in the distance beneath that blanketing mist, squinting and smiling to himself at the sight of two early-morning walkers in their bright red jackets, as two excited dogs bounded around their feet. He debated suggesting a walk to Alec, who had, after they had explored the small house that was to be their home for however long he needed, announced he wanted one night to forget everything; Magnus had portaled them to the nearest city—Manchester, since he’d portaled them to the foot of the Dales in England—and they’d danced, drank, and laughed until the early hours of the morning.

The creak of the door behind him brought Magnus back from smiling to himself at the memory of them dancing together, the confident way Alec had moved against him, and the champagne he’d insisted on drinking, wondering if a request for a spell for a hangover was going to be his first words.

"Ugh," Alec announced, stumbling into him from behind and wrapping his arms around him, hooking his chin over his shoulder for a moment before reaching to steal a sip of his coffee, then nuzzling behind his ear and settling there with a contented sigh.

"Good morning," Magnus smiled, reaching back without asking to pat his head, muttering an incantation and flaring magic, laughing under his breath for the relieved way Alec huddled even closer to him, kissing along his neck in thanks.

"Good morning, Magnus."

"You slept well, I trust?"

"I did," Alec agreed. "Doesn’t feel like for long enough, though."

"It probably wasn’t," Magnus replied, covering his hand as he bent to put his cup on the floor. "We didn’t return here until perhaps three, and I couldn’t sleep much past eight."

"I never thought to ask. Do we get jet lag with portaling?" Alec asked, still very much sounding half-asleep.

"I’m not sure. Though we are several hours ahead of what we are used to, so, possibly."

"Think we can wait until this afternoon to practice?" Alec asked, snuggling even closer.

"Of course."

"I’m starving."

"Would you like us to go somewhere to eat?"

"Can we eat here?" Alec asked, repeatedly kissing his neck then belatedly noticing the view in front of them, and following it up with a soft, "oh, look at that."

"I can have something sent here."

"English breakfast?" Alec said hopefully, squeezing around his middle and leaving Magnus smiling harder to himself. "The menu we saw yesterday looked amazing."

"If that is what you want."

"I could probably eat two," Alec admitted as Magnus turned back around and picked up his cup before snagging Alec’s fingers to lead him back inside.

"I’ll see what I can do."

Moments later the table in their lounge was filled with two wide oval plates full of breakfast food, glasses of juice, a cafetiere of coffee, and a further plate overflowing with toast.

"Did we just deprive someone of their breakfast?" Alec asked, a tiny bit of contrition there, but already lifting his cutlery and cutting into a fried egg.

"Not exactly. The local cafe from here is… well stocked," Magnus replied, though made a mental note of sending back twice the amount of money to cover their meals, just in case.

"It’s good," Alec said with his mouth full, as Magnus poured them both coffee despite having just finished one before beginning to eat.

"It is."

"I woke up to a message from Izzy," Alec added after taking a sip of his juice, his cheeks lighting up with blush. "Apparently I sent pictures last night. From the club."

"You did insist on us taking numerous selfies," Magnus replied, smiling hard for Alec ducking his head a little and groaning.

"How much did I drink?"

"I think _a lot_ would be a suitable response to that."

"Magnus—"

"Don’t worry. You didn’t do anything untoward," Magnus assured him, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "I assumed you could do with a… night away from any sense of responsibility, from everything you have been through recently."

"You’ve been through it too. Worse, even," Alec said, snagging Magnus’ thumb to pull his hand back before he could withdraw it.

Magnus thought of the weeks without Alec, the way he too had been shut out by the Institute when he’d asked for information, and smiled in agreement. "We’re here now."

"Magnus; thank you," Alec said then, lifting Magnus’ hand to kiss the back of it.

"For what?"

"Everything?" Alec laughed. "For not giving up on me—"

"I would never—"

"For coming to find me. For _saving_ me? For—"

"I love you," Magnus said, feeling there was nothing further he needed to add, earning himself a soft, affectionate smile, before Alec muttered the same back.

They returned to eating their breakfast, pointing out things of interest in the house and beyond the window, debating a walk once the mist was lifted.

"You could start small," Magnus suggested, when they’d stacked up their plates and Magnus had sent them—washed—back to the cafe he’d taken them from, and Alec laid his hands palm up against the table, watching the lazy drift of his magic flowing out.

"Like what?"

"Try to shape the magic. Flex your fingers and make it pulse."

"Like this?" Alec asked, looking more like he was doing a poor imitation of a shadow puppet.

"More like this," Magnus replied, conjuring his own magic to demonstrate. Alec studied his hand for a moment before copying his movements, huffing to himself in surprise as that beautiful emerald green color pulsed in gentle waves.

Magnus was unsurprised that Alec’s magic was beautiful, adamant he wasn’t biased; the shimmer of it in places was like glitter, a many-faceted jewel that Magnus had difficulty snatching his eyes away from.

"And now what?" Alec asked, sounding fascinated.

"The connection between your mind and your magic; that is key. Think of a shape and try to channel your magic to form it. I would suggest something like an egg, or a sphere; it will be easier to start with than something with straight edges."

"Have you trained anyone else who’s become a warlock?" Alec asked, darting his eyes at Magnus before shifting a little and settling to concentrate.

"Once or twice."

"Yeah," Alec said then, his face softening. "Actually, I remember you telling me."

"Concentrate, Alexander," Magnus urged gently, nodding towards his hands.

Alec cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes, lifting his chin a little.

Magnus watched with an unconsciously held breath, as Alec’s magic flickered like a candle flame, dropped away to nothing, then flared hard. Alec let out another huff of surprise as that magic first formed into two uneven oblong shapes that each then bulged in the middle, forming two perfect spheres.

"Look at that," Alec said with wonder, his fingers twitching a little, and a laugh escaping his mouth when the spheres rose a little further from his hands and began to spin.

"Did you ask it to do that?" Magnus asked, full of pride for Alec.

"Sort of. I just… wondered if I could make it turn. And it did. _They_ did."

"Can you… join them together?" Magnus asked then watched as Alec focused harder, the two spheres first bumping against one another, then merging into a larger ball.

Alec stared at Magnus over the top of it in delight, and Magnus had to echo it, and for a moment all they did was continue to watch in silence as the sphere slowly turned.

"How about… targeting your magic somewhere?" Magnus suggested when Alec flared his fingers and the ball disappeared.

"Doing what?"

Magnus slipped a bracelet from his wrist on to the table, pushing it closer to Alec. "Try to lift it, or move it, or something."

"Magnus, no; this is one of your favorites."

"I trust you," Magnus smiled, neglecting to let Alec know about the charm he’d already placed over the bracelet to protect it, knowing how volatile new magic could be.

"Yeah, well, I don’t."

"Just… try to slide it across the table."

Alec frowned at the bracelet in suspicion, turning his hand cautiously to hover over it, then swallowed hard. Magnus tried not to flinch for the bracelet hitting him in the chest a second later.

"I’m sorry," Alec said immediately, his magic fading away.

"It’s fine, Alexander," Magnus smiled, retrieving the bracelet once it had fallen into his lap. "That was good."

"It’s… barely anything."

"It’s more than you could do yesterday morning," Magnus pointed out, watching the uncertainty on Alec’s face refuse to disappear. "And besides. You are already performing magic as we speak."

"I am?"

"Yes," Magnus smiled. "Who do you think is glamoring your wings?"

Alec’s eyes grew startled, peering over his shoulders in turn, another huff of surprise blasting from his lips. "I’m doing that?"

"You are," Magnus replied. "I imagine you are focusing more on _that_ , because it is something that you want."

"I—it doesn’t mean I’m not interested in this magic, though," Alec said, as though apologizing, watching the lazy curl of it once more begin to seep from his fingertips.

"Of course it doesn’t. But to glamor something of that size will require much of your effort; it is hardly a surprise that you have chosen to focus on that first."

"I guess I have chosen that, haven’t I?" Alec mused, sitting back a little then nodding towards the couch behind them.

"You have," Magnus agreed, standing to follow. "And there’s nothing wrong with that. There is no one way you are supposed to get used to this."

"Thanks, Magnus," Alec sighed as they sunk down together, throwing an arm around Magnus’ shoulder and kissing the side of his head.

"You can do this, Alexander. I have every faith."

Alec hummed in answer against his temple with a soft sigh. "How about we take a half hour?"

"To do what?"

"This," Alec said, looping his other arm around Magnus to tuck into his waist. Magnus smiled and turned a fraction so they were more comfortable, and relaxed into Alec’s embrace.

* * *

"Careful. You need to aim it, Alexander."

Alec’s brow furrowed in concentration. The fist-sized shard of rock beginning to tumble to the grass beneath their feet juddered then hovered in front of him, raising once more until level with his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Alec turned his hand so his magic was pushing the rock away from him, and the rock began to stutter and stop its way towards the drystone wall where three similar-sized rocks were already precariously balanced.

"Dammit."

Alec huffed out in frustration as the rock struck lower down the wall, falling to join a small pile of others that had also missed their mark.

"You’re doing great," Magnus enthused, smiling at Alec’s under-his-breath grumble, though staying just to the side despite wanting to reach out in encouragement.

"It doesn’t feel like I am."

"That’s because you’re being too hard on yourself."

"Magnus—"

"Alexander, you have been working on this for just a few hours," Magnus smiled, watching as Alec summoned another piece of rock. They could have spent many more hours practicing, of course, having been in their house in almost the middle of nowhere for three days. But there had been time for exploring, time for relaxing, time for being together alone, away from everything. Life had felt a little on hold when they’d been in the apartment, with Alec attempting to adjust as everything whirled in chaos around them.

"Yeah, well—"

"Were you this… persistent as a child when you were training?" Magnus teased, already knowing the answer, and laughing softly as Alec swiveled to raise an eyebrow at him before turning back to concentrate on his rock.

Magnus watched as Alec sent it towards the wall as he had done with the others, sucking in a breath as it dropped a little before Alec could raise it up. And then he held perfectly still, willing the stone to do as directed, slumping in relief as it lowered on the top of the wall and settled, staying in place.

"See?" Magnus enthused, unable to resist rushing forward, waiting for Alec’s magic to fade, and his hands to fall down by his sides, before wrapping his arms around him from behind. "You’ve already mastered glamoring your warlock mark. You’re learning how to pulse and shape your magic. You have just moved several rocks with it—"

"Magnus—"

"And soon you’ll be learning enchantments, how to prepare potions; all kinds of things."

"There's so much to learn," Alec sighed, leaning back against him, though not appearing too overwhelmed by the idea. Magnus kissed the back of his shoulder, then turned him in his arms.

"Not all at once."

"That’d be easier," Alec smiled, leaning to kiss him, then humming for it and cradling the back of Magnus’ neck to keep him in place.

"And where would the fun be in that?"

"I don’t know. I’m sort of having fun learning everything," Alec admitted, eyes lingering over Magnus’ lips so he’d know of his intention to kiss him once again.

"Oh, you are?"

"Magnus; it’s not like I haven’t thought about all this stuff before. What it would be like to have to learn it all."

"You have?" Magnus asked, failing to keep the surprise from his voice.

"Magnus; how many times did we talk about this happening? You think in all that time, this wasn’t something that was on my mind?"

"I suppose," Magnus agreed, running a hand down Alec’s back before looping his arms around him.

"I think I’m trying to… the hardest thing about this is realizing—accepting that we’ve got… all this time now. I feel like I wanna do everything at once, and do nothing at all; be _selfish_ , because we have all this time."

"It’s not selfish to do something purely for yourself for once," Magnus pointed out.

"No, it isn’t, I know. I just… I know it’s early days into this, but… I’m really happy we’re _here_ , Magnus. Doing this, together."

"As am I."

* * *

"Muddy boots welcome?"

Magnus watched Alec look down at his own boots in doubt, kicking his heels together to try to rid them of excess dirt as he gestured at the sign, then back up to look at his face.

"Yes. Since we are in the middle of an area of outstanding natural beauty, it is to be expected that there will be lots of passing walkers wanting refreshment. I’m sure establishments such as this one are more than used to a deluge of trodden mud."

"That rain was pretty heavy last night," Alec agreed, holding a hand out for Magnus to balance himself with as he too attempted to clean his boots up a little, then snagged his fingers and pulled him towards the small pub, swinging open the door for him to lead the way inside.

"What would you like to drink?" Magnus asked, beginning to shrug out of his jacket, with Alec catching the back of it to help him and turning to hang it on a rack behind them before removing his own.

"I’ll get it," Alec smiled, nodding towards a couple of empty tables. Magnus squeezed his arm in passing and made his way to the bigger of the tables with faded-red cushioned chairs either side of it. He sank into his chair gratefully, taking in the dark wooden furniture, the theme of pictures of framed cottages covering much of the cream walls, and smiled in memory of the last time he had been in a similar setting with Ragnor, not too far from where they were then.

Alec joined him a few minutes later, mumbling about local IPAs and how the waiting staff had asked him to repeat himself three times, then sank awkwardly on to his seat as though expecting it to snap under his weight.

"I think these things have seated many people before us," Magnus teased, watching Alec settle more comfortably, then lift up his glass for Magnus to clink against.

"How many miles do you think we walked?"

"Perhaps seven, or eight."

"Only that many?" Alec said in surprise, taking a sip of his ale and after frowning down at the honey-colored liquid, humming as though he thought it passable.

"There were some steep paths; very steeps ones," Magnus smiled, looking forward to sinking into the roll top bath that had been a deciding factor in his choosing the house they were staying in.

"True. It is beautiful here."

"It is. Is it what you were expecting?"

"I had no idea what to expect," Alec smiled, taking another sip of his ale and glancing out the window. "But I’m happy we’re here."

"Me too."

"You were right; I don’t think I could have concentrated on any of this if we were still at home," Alec added, giving a discreet twist of his hand so only Magnus would see the small spiral of magic flaring there for a second.

"I think it is always easier to learn a new skill when there are no other things you have to think about at the same time."

"And I guess it’s… it’s not like we don’t have the time. Though we can’t stay away forever—"

"Alexander; we have been here barely a week. There is no rush," Magnus replied, though he knew what Alec meant. Messages from Luke and Raphael had mentioned the changes already seeming to seep into every day Downworlder life in New York. More regular patrols, tighter restrictions, even talk of Downworlders having to check in at the Institute on a regular basis were beginning to be discussed, though Magnus couldn’t see that particular plan coming to fruition if only for the sheer numbers of Downworlders occupying New York.

"I guess," Alec sighed, frowning into his glass.

"Perhaps we could visit Clary," Magnus suggested, wanting to lift that frown from his face.

"I tried calling her," Alec admitted. "Got a text message back saying all her calls were being monitored. Sounds like she’d have difficulty getting away from the London Institute unnoticed."

"That sounds like they’re imprisoning her," Magnus said in horror, then sank back in his chair and offered up an apologetic smile. They'd grown to, without even trying, learn to talk with caution about the subjects that were most likely to raise a temper in either one of them. Criticism of either side of the Shadow World tended to be the source of any clipped words, but the look on Alec's face showed an understandable frown, only sighing then nodding grimly back.

"It makes no sense that anyone else is being punished for this," he said, fingers out absently to tap against the table.

"For what?"

"For me?" Alec huffed. "For whatever I’m accused of doing by going missing, or for not running the Institute how they wanted me to, for being _this_? For _everything_?"

Magnus debated pretending he hadn’t already considered the same thing himself, then decided against it, and offered up a rueful smile. "As difficult as this is, Alec; as much as there are going to likely be hard times to come, I hope I can reassure you, that there is always a way through it. That… even when things feel bleakest, there is usually a way through those times. Admittedly, not always in the best, or easiest of ways—"

"Is this your wise _I’ve lived through centuries of war_ speech?" Alec teased with a smirk over the top of his glass, reaching out across the table to snag up Magnus’ fingers to give an affectionate squeeze.

"Alexander," Magnus replied, with mock wounding in his tone even as he smiled back. "One day it will be _you_ giving the same speech."

"Because you think whatever’s coming with the Clave is gonna be that bad? Or because—"

"Because you now have the time to view the events that will shape our future—become our history—with a degree of knowing," Magnus told him. "Because however bad things may be over the next few months, or even years, and how difficult it will be to get things back to something better—and however long _that_ lasts before we’re having these maudlin conversations all over again; generally-speaking, this is existence. It isn’t about good and bad times, or highs and lows; it’s just the way of the world. Of living."

"See?" Alec teased again, scraping up his hand to kiss the back of it. "It _is_ your profound speech."

"I thought you called it _wise_?" Magnus countered, to which Alec snorted, smiling back in triumph.

"Seriously, Magnus. How bad do you think it’s gonna get?"

The worry that crept in across Alec’s face had Magnus sitting forward, flipping their hands over to swirl a soothing thumb over the back of Alec’s. "Well. Worst case scenario, is that we go back to a system that is skewed entirely in favor of the Clave. Where Downworlders in effect have to get permission to exist. Where their every move is monitored, every deed questioned, their only merits seen to be the things they can do for the Clave."

"It’s not… that bad now, is it?" Alec asked uncertainly, with numerous conversations they’d had flooding back to Magnus, of Alec worrying that he didn’t notice enough for being part of the Clave.

"Not that bad, no. Though we are still very divided, and it does feel as though the Clave is attempting to gain control, instead of attempting to find the neutral ground that you were working for."

"Do you think we made any kind of difference?" Alec asked, bringing further conversations still back to Magnus, from Alec’s sleepless nights fearing he wasn’t doing enough.

"Of course we have. _You_ have," Magnus assured him. "Alexander; you have helped shape the outlook of numerous Shadowhunters for the better; people that I believed to be beyond hope of thinking of anything of their own importance."

"Jace," Alec snorted, sipping his ale.

"Amongst others," Magnus agreed with a gentle squeeze of his fingers. "But also Downworlders, who have, rightfully or not, always viewed the Clave—and its Institutes—with suspicion."

"The Clave’s kind of earned that," Alec countered, sighing to himself.

"True. Though it would be inaccurate to say that Downworlders are entirely without fault on all occasions."

"Clave’s done a hundred things worse," Alec shrugged, "can’t pretend they haven’t."

"Not at all," Magnus agreed, "I'm just attempting to be realistic. Trying to be fair."

"The Clave’s not exactly being fair with any of this right now."

"No, they aren’t. But that doesn’t mean things are beyond hope," Magnus smiled once Alec had lifted his head again to look at him.

"I guess."

"Alexander; your sister, even without your influence, has always been a friend to the Downworld. Do you think the Clave will succeed in silencing her in Idris, of all places? That they will be able to change her mind, about anything?"

"No," Alec smiled, his eyes softening for thinking of Izzy. "Mom did already say she was… talking, a lot."

"Exactly," Magnus enthused. "And Clary being in London perhaps unable to leave, doesn’t mean she too won’t talk. Her best friend is a vampire; you don’t think she will at the very least talk about Simon at every possibility?"

"True."

"And even Jace," Magnus laughed, shaking his head at the image of Jace choosing to spend his free time only with Downworlders in Los Angeles. "Even his behavior, and no doubt, opinion, is going to have an influence on those around him."

"Yeah, you’re right," Alec smiled, looking a little more relaxed.

"Perhaps the New York Institute is going to go through a period of upheaval, and those under its _protection_ , or _guidance_ , will suffer as a result. But by splitting up the group of people who were so successfully changing the relationships in our world, all they succeeded in doing, is spreading your voice."

Alec smiled harder at that, eyes wide as though the idea hadn’t occurred to him, and Magnus watched the emotions playing across his face for a few seconds before he looked ready to talk again.

"It doesn’t mean we don’t have a fight on our hands when we eventually return," Magnus cautioned.

"No, I know."

"With the Clave attempting to seize more control of all their Institutes, things will be… interesting, for at least the coming months."

"And I’m… not exactly doing much to help," Alec added, frowning again.

"You are," Magnus insisted, "you are learning to control your magic, adjusting to this change that has been forced upon you. And once you feel more confident in all of these things, you are going to be vital in helping with whatever changes are to come."

"Because I’m— _was_ —a Shadowhunter, and now I’m a… Downworlder?" Alec asked, hesitating over the world, then squeezing Magnus’ hand and smiling guiltily for it.

"Alexander," Magnus replied. "I am sure I would feel just as… odd, if I were to wake up one day as a Shadowhunter."

"You wouldn’t survive a day," Alec said, taking another sip of his ale to cover up his smile.

"Alec—"

"All that black clothing with no color?" Alec sighed, pretending to look sorry for him. "You’d hate it."

Magnus tried and failed not to smile back, prodding a finger into the back of Alec’s hand in mock reprimand. "Your sister—"

"Izzy’s an exception to everything," Alec smiled, though it became wistful, and Magnus ached for what Alec must be going through being separated from his siblings.

"She is."

"It’s… stupid, probably, but I think I miss them all more now for knowing… for knowing I’ll… I mean, I know there’s no guarantees or anything, but… I’m probably gonna be around, long after they’re gone."

"Alexander—"

"I mean, I don’t regret it," Alec added quickly, raising Magnus’ hand to kiss again. "We would’ve got here eventually anyway. It’s just—"

"I understand, Alec," Magnus smiled, squeezing his hand. "I mean, I can’t understand, exactly; I’ve not had a family for a—"

"You _do_ have a family," Alec smiled, shaking his head.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," Alec agreed, "but you do, Magnus. At least, you have a family now. And… I’m not going anywhere. So you’ll… you’ll always have me."

Magnus’ heart skipped at the reality of Alec’s words, and his immortality, having had to pinch himself at least a couple of times for not truly believing he’d get to have such a thing. Alec seemed to sense the euphoria surging through him and leaned across the table to kiss him for it.

"And you will always have me," Magnus promised, heart skipping once again for being able to say such a thing.

"You want another?" Alec asked then, draining his glass and looking pointedly at Magnus’ with still a good third of ale still in it.

"We aren’t in any hurry," he smiled, tilting his head back as Alec stood immediately, leaning down over him for another kiss. And then he watched Alec confidently return to the bar to order, brightness firing in his eyes for the future he’d now get to share with Alec.

* * *

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

"Magnus; it’s turned to hell. Seriously."

Magnus watched with a grimace as Luke sank down on the edge of an armchair, head immediately falling to his hands. Then listened as the shower shut off upstairs announcing Alec had finished in the few minutes between Luke’s call, and Magnus portaling to collect him.

"Need a drink?" Magnus asked, waiting as Luke vehemently shook his head, then paused, before nodding in resignation. "Anything in particular?"

"Just make it strong," Luke sighed, slumping back with a hard sigh. Magnus crossed the room in seconds to the small table he’d set up for making cocktails, took one look at Luke’s face, and poured him a generous tumbler of scotch.

"How bad is it?" He asked, sliding the glass down in front of him, turning at the footfall on the stairs behind them.

"Hey, Alec—"

"Clothes—"

Alec came to an abrupt halt halfway down the stairs at both Magnus and Luke calling out at once, with one bare leg in view beneath the towel wrapped around his waist, and half his torso showing as he bent at an angle to peer down.

"Hey," he called back, waving, then turning around again to get dressed.

"How’s he doing?" Luke asked quietly, nodding towards him as Magnus sat after making both him and Alec a drink.

"Remarkable," Magnus enthused, full of pride. "Not that I’m surprised; he is a diligent student— _Lucien_!"

Luke roared with laughter at Magnus’ objection to his knowing, _uh huh_ , under his breath, then waved a hand in apology, telling him to continue.

"He has already perfected several simple spells, can summon small items across a room. It’s going to take time, of course, but he is doing well."

"Did he, uh," Luke began to say, his voice dropping as his eyes turned once again towards the stairs, "did he get a mark? Like, a warlock mark?"

"That is for Alexander to share with you, should he choose to," Magnus reprimanded, though there was pleading in his eyes he hoped Luke would understand.

"It’ll be good to have you both back—when you’re ready, obviously," Luke said with an understanding nod.

"Tell me about this _hell_ we’ll be coming back to," Magnus offered, smiling as Alec made his way towards them and Luke stood briefly to shake his hand.

"Hell?" Alec asked quietly as he sank down, taking the glass already extended in Magnus’ hand. Luke looked between the two of them before taking a gulp of his scotch, then sat with his elbows propped up on his knees, his face setting into a grimace.

"Your replacement’s a dick, for one," he said, sighing at Alec, who stiffened at Magnus’ side, and took a sip from his own glass.

"What’s he doing?"

"Only undoing all the good work we’ve all put in since you took over. He’s dismantled the Downworlder Cabinet, no Downworlders allowed anywhere near the Institute unless they’re there to be _interviewed_ —and by that, I do mean interrogated—"

"For what?" Alec asked, his voice coming out brittle with anger.

"You tell me," Luke huffed. "Anything. Everything. Most times it’s just for daring to be out after dark. I had three pack members missing coming way too close to a full moon; turns out the Institute’s got some new no-go areas in the city they failed to tell us about."

"What? Why?"

"I don’t know," Luke shrugged. "When my guys finally got back we only had a day before they were taking off; saying they didn’t wanna live under the same kind of restrictions we used to have. Apparently, there was an attack on a Mundane coming out of a club; but I didn’t hear a damn thing about it at the precinct."

"They made it up," Alec sighed, sagging a little; Magnus reached out to squeeze over his thigh in reassurance, leaving it there when Alec absently covered his hand with his own.

"Yeah," Luke agreed, "and now there’s this whole list of restrictions. Talk of trying to keep Downworlders in their _segregated areas_ —"

"What?" Alec demanded, looking horrified.

"I think what Luke means," Magnus said carefully, and looking to Luke for confirmation, "is that the Institute is trying to keep everyone in their place."

"Like—"

"They’ve divided the city up into areas," Luke said. "Apparently, it’s for our own safety; they’re citing an argument between one of the younger guys in my pack and a new vampire who hadn’t yet joined Raphael."

"So, when you say divided—"

"There’s zones where you’re supposed to be able to go. I’m supposed to be grateful that the _werewolf zone_ includes The Hunter’s Moon, and Jade Wolf, as well as my precinct. I’m sure Raphael’s just as _grateful_ the Hotel Dumort’s in the vampire territory."

"And the warlocks?" Magnus asked, his voice growing cold with his own fury.

"You guys got the raw end of the deal," Luke groaned, rolling his eyes, "literally just a few streets in Downtown, and talk of warlocks not even being allowed in the city soon."

"Why?" Alec demanded, his voice equally as cold.

"They’re saying it’s ‘cos warlocks didn’t do enough to help in the demon breach you all went on."

"How can they say that—"

"When Magnus, and all the other warlocks in the city, and every city I’ve heard about were warding like there was no tomorrow, keeping everyone safe? That a warlock was the one to seal the rift, and hasn’t been allowed out of Idris since? That it was a _warlock_ that found their Head of Institute when they didn't bother to look?" Luke retorted in anticipation of Alec’s question, the tone of his voice saying exactly how furious he was himself.

"And because their former Head of Institute is also now a warlock?" Magnus added softly. Alec raised his fingers through Magnus' to squeeze and nudged into his side.

"Yeah," he agreed, "and proud to be. Especially if this is what the Clave’s become."

"Magnus," Luke sighed, "they’re trying to split us."

"Yes, I can see—"

"No, Magnus," Luke said, shaking his head. "They’re not just segregating us, they’re trying to divide us. It’s not official or anything yet, but there’s talk of new Institute-approved heads of the various _factions_ of Downworlders."

"Meaning?" Magnus asked, his heart already pounding for imagining what Luke was about to tell them.

"Meaning, that they’re trying to encourage _applicants_ to head my pack, and Raphael’s clan—"

"But they can’t do that," Alec said, with Magnus turning at the horror in his voice and seeing him grow pale.

"I know they can’t, but they’re doing it,"

"We should go back," Alec said softly, sounding defeated. "Maybe I can—"

"You need to stay away for now, Alec," Luke interrupted, shaking his head. "I only hear stuff from other people, but your name’s dirt. You’re being painted like a modern-day Lucifer—"

"Is he being charged with anything?" Magnus asked, fearing all kinds of false accusations, and even worse, needing to help Alec go into hiding.

"No," Luke snorted, "nothing like that. They know they’ve got nothing to pin on you. They’re just… it’s just like watching the Mundane elections when the other party’s trying to say they’ll have to spend the next four years fixing the previous guy's mistakes. There’s no substance to any of it, but they’re saying it. And since you’re not around to defend yourself—"

"I don’t think it wise at the moment," Magnus said immediately, squeezing a little harder around Alec’s leg.

"You show up in the Institute, I’m betting on you being locked up like some damn lab rat and studied," Luke said, shaking his head. "So you stay here. Sit tight. You get yourself ready, and strong—whatever you need to do, and just… stay out of it for now. You won’t be helping anyone if you disappear on us."

"Luke—"

"Listen, Alec. We’re holding out—for now. But there's plenty more of my pack talking about disappearing; though I don’t know where they think they’re gonna go—I spoke to the pack leader in Philadelphia just yesterday, says the same thing’s happening to them with their Institute. Maybe not the stuff with the warlocks, but—"

"They’re trying to control everything," Alec said, half in a daze. Magnus wanted to wrap him up in his arms for how lost he sounded, trying to understand how things must look from Alec’s perspective, with everything changing so rapidly, and at once.

"Yeah, they are," Luke agreed. "Seems they find an excuse for this kinda thing every few decades."

"Valentine was hardly an _excuse_ ," Magnus tried to add, with a nervous smile, "much as I—"

"I’m not saying he was," Luke agreed, raising his hands, "but Magnus; all those _processes_ they put in place after they thought we’d got rid of him? You can’t tell me that wasn’t the Clave seizing an opportunity to get what it wanted."

Magnus thought of Luke, how his treatment by the Clave was unforgivable by any standard, then felt his stomach knot for recognizing how Alec’s own story echoed Luke's.

"We need to do something," Alec insisted, though the look on his face said he had no idea what.

"We do. And we will," Luke agreed, "just not yet, okay? Some of this stuff’s just not gonna fly; it isn’t the first time the Clave’s made unreasonable demands and we’ve had to shout long enough, and hard enough, to bring them back down."

"I’m… not exactly in a position to return to being Head of the Institute anyway," Alec added, staring down at his lap. "Not that that’s a problem; it’s just—"

"Alec; your whole way of life just got stolen from under you. I get it. Hell; I’ve been through it," Luke smiled softly when Alec looked back up. "You just gotta bring yourself up to speed on this for _you_ : we’ll deal with everything else later. I just wanted to let you know what’s been going on—and get a little space so I could yell some more."

"How is everyone else?" Magnus asked, with both him and Alec already having received numerous messages from their Downworlder friends, but thinking Alec might need to hear some reassurance.

"Simon’s good. Maia. All the staff in Jade Wolf are doing okay. Things are a little subdued in the Hunter’s Moon, since it’s supposed to be only werewolf territory; not that any of us are really listening. Kaeden’s set up a glamor, so any Shadowhunter coming in the bar to check up on us all only sees a handful of werewolves."

"Kaeden," Alec said quietly, leaning into Magnus side as he raised his hand and wriggled his fingers just in front of his forehead, "the one with the—"

"Unfortunately placed—and now damaged—horn. Looks almost like a—"

"Got it," Luke laughed, slapping his hand down on his thigh in mirth. "It’s no wonder he’s so good at glamoring if that’s what he’s trying to keep out of sight."

Magnus chose to ignore Luke’s curious gaze in Alec’s direction, and was thankful he didn’t ask the question that was probably on the tip of his tongue.

"Glamoring’s… _hard_ ," Alec said nodding to himself, which did nothing but further Luke’s curiosity. Magnus shot him a warning glance and slowly shook his head.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Magnus tells me you’ve been working hard," Luke added, deliberately avoiding Magnus’ glare.

"I don’t know about that," Alec replied, looking down at his glass. "But I sort of had to pick _that_ up pretty quickly."

"Oh?"

"I got a warlock mark that’s… kind of hard to hide."

Luke’s eyes flitted over Alec repeatedly in search of the mark, and Magnus sat straighter with pride that he couldn’t find it.

"First few months I was a werewolf, every time I lost my temper—which was always—I was on the verge of changing. And my eyes," Luke added, laughing at himself. "I was wearing shades all the time. Every time anything so much as pissed me off they’d be glowing; I can’t tell you how many times people went running screaming from me for it. I scared this woman so bad in the grocery store near my apartment back then that she called the cops."

Alec burst out laughing, nudging into Magnus’ side.

"Anyway," Luke said then, draining his glass and standing, walking across the room to put it back on the table where Magnus had made drinks. "I just wanted to check in, keep you updated; see how you were doing."

"You will look after yourself," Magnus urged, standing at the same time as Alec, unable to not worry about the fracturing of the place that had for so long been his home, and fear for what was happening to the people he’d come to know and love.

"I will," Luke agreed, stepping forward and nodding. "And I’ll let you know if I hear anything else."

Magnus conjured a portal to send Luke home, and the three of them exchanged a few more words, then Luke was stepping through, and disappearing.

"I feel like I wanna do something. _Need_ to do something," Alec said, staring after the spot where Luke had just been.

"Alex—"

"I know I can’t go back there," Alec said with his hand up to stop him, turning slightly, "not yet; I know _we_ can’t go back there. And I know there’s not a thing I can do about any of this right now. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could."

"I understand, Alec," Magnus began to say, and he watched Alec biting back a retort that said why he couldn’t understand. He thought about recalling incidents from his own life when he’d felt helpless, had power taken from him, but knew Alec wouldn’t want to hear that right then. Instead, he nodded and began to turn back to the couch, determined to give Alec space if he needed it; as both of them had learned to do.

"Hey," Alec whispered, reaching out to catch his arm before he could go too far, turning him back a little and crowding closer to kiss him. "Can we go somewhere? Anywhere. Somewhere busy, where there’s lots of people around. Just for a little while."

"Anywhere you want, Alexander," Magnus smile, slotting their fingers together and leaning until Alec smiled back and nodded. "Anywhere you want."

* * *

Okay, Alec; show me what you can do."

Magnus nodded in encouragement as Alec stared back at him for another second, then watched as he turned away, eyes already darting around the lounge for things to do.

"Should I apologize in advance for breaking anything?" he said with doubt, though already flaring his magic down by his sides.

"We can fix anything that is damaged," Magnus assured him, his own hands twitching just in case.

The look of concentration on Alec’s face when he turned back around left Magnus holding his breath, and when Alec finally decided to attempt to lift a small orange vase, Magnus almost called out telling him not to, to start with something less delicate. But he held it in, pride swelling in his chest as the vase first teetered in the air for a few seconds, then glided through the air in front of them, crossing the room from mantelpiece to dining table.

Next Alec focused on one of the chairs tucked beneath the table, dragging it out across the floor with a flare of his fingers and upending it mid-air, to hook over the table’s edge. Pillows were raised and scattered from the couch, the curtains opened and closed several times, and with a little huff for the extra effort, Alec summoned a handful of Magnus’ jewelry from his nightstand upstairs.

"You’re doing great, Alexander," Magnus enthused, still holding his breath a little as Alec continued to work, playing with the necklaces and bracelet Alec had sent to his hands.

"Be ready. I’m gonna try the coffee," Alec warned, and after receiving a nod from Magnus, Alec focused on the coffee jug, both of them watching as it began to tremble, and the cold coffee started bubbling up the sides.

"Perfect," Magnus enthused.

"I don’t know," Alec replied, scowling when that tremble turned to more erratic shaking, and the bubbles started to froth, threatening to spill.

"It’s perfect," Magnus insisted when the jug stopped rattling, and to prove his point moved towards the kitchen counter, testing the jug handle for temperature before pouring half a cup. "See? Tastes just as good as it should do."

"Really?" Alec asked, following him and taking the extended cup to sip from himself.

"You really are doing very well," Magnus told him, reaching out to squeeze over his arm.

"What next?" Alec asked eagerly, waiting for Magnus’ suggestion.

"You could… try changing your shirt?"

"You don’t like this one?" Alec asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I didn’t say that," Magnus protested, smiling at Alec’s snort, and watching as he raised his hand.

"Dammit," Alec muttered seconds after snapping his fingers, successfully managing to remove his shirt, but not summon another in its place.

"I'm not complaining about the view," Magnus teased, stepping close enough to press their chests together.

"Magnus," Alec sighed, "you keep telling _me_ to focus," though there was more amusement in it than frustration.

"We’ve been here a little over two weeks; look how much you’ve achieved already."

"But there’s so much _more_ ," Alec replied, sighing harder as he wrapped his arms around his back.

"There will always be more. I'm still learning new things all the time. Magic is like most things, Alec; there is always going to be something new to discover. Whether it is a new technique, or potion, or more effective method of summoning; there is always _something_."

"I think I’m gonna suck at making potions," Alec grumbled, absently leaning in for a kiss then humming for it, and kissing him again.

"Why?"

"Magnus," Alec smiled, "how many times have you had to rescue our dinner when you leave me… unsupervised?"

"You’re not that bad," Magnus defended, pushing away the memories yelling in protest.

"You mean, I’m not as bad as Izzy," Alec corrected, though was smiling for it, softly rocking Magnus in his arms.

"You are infinitely better than Izzy," Magnus countered. "So far, we have had no fires, and I’ve been able to identify every single thing you have attempted to cook."

Alec burst out laughing in answer, wrapping him up in a tighter hug, leaning there against him for a few seconds before pulling back with a soft smile.

"What’s next?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, Magnus; I need to be _doing_ something."

Magnus nuzzled against him in sympathy, squeezing Alec’s fingers before he pulled out of reach. A call from Maryse with an update on what was happening had put them both in a pensive mood, with news that those restrictions Luke had mentioned were being repeated in further cities, and several reports of Shadowhunters becoming heavy-handed with the Downworlders they were arresting—and those arrests amounting to little more than wild excuses.

Magnus shared Alec’s feeling of helplessness, doing what he could from a distance, which wasn’t much. News of fights amongst the other warlocks vying to take his place as High Warlock of Brooklyn only bringing him a modicum of comfort, for hearing it was an attempt to go up against the New York Institute's own personal choice; a young, inexperienced warlock from Pittsburgh, who Magnus had only heard of in passing, and was far more willing to do the Clave’s bidding than anyone else.

What unsettled Alec more than anything, however, was the continued sense of no organization, no overall management of the so-called reorganization by the Clave. He was so used to having order, and boundaries to work within that hearing of the utter chaos, hearsay, and rumors about what was happening with no clear truth to anything left him more restless than anything else.

"Magnus—"

"Okay," Magnus agreed, bringing his thoughts back from wandering. "Do you want to do something here?"

"I need to learn more about this," Alec insisted, flaring a swirl of magic in his palm.

"Yes, you do; though there is magic that can be learned, and used, just about anywhere."

"What are you thinking?"

"Perhaps we can try some elemental magic," Magnus suggested, hoping that would both prove adequate distraction, and help Alec in his progression.

"Like… water, air, that kind of thing?"

"Exactly."

"And that’s… useful?" Alec asked, not sounding convinced at all.

"It can be," Magnus nodded. "Mists to impair the vision of an enemy. A burst of rain to prevent a fight; many things."

Alec tilted his head a little as he considered Magnus’ words, then nodded in agreement, reaching out and wriggling his fingers for Magnus to slot his own through.

* * *

"Do you ever think the Mundanes can feel all this stuff— _us_ —going on around them?"

Alec’s question had Magnus turning a little to catch the expression on his face, unable to interpret what he was thinking as he stared out over the same view. Fields spread out before them extending beyond the horizon, a herd of cows grazing unhurried just a few feet to their right.

"What do you mean?"

"Like… when we couldn’t get those demons under control; you said Mundanes saw them, right? Until the wards were put up. And everyday stuff—"

"Like having Downworlders walk amongst them?" Magnus suggested, turning his gaze back.

"And Shadowhunters," Alec added. "So many of them talk of gods, and angels, and all kinds of other things they’ve never even seen. What would they think of passing by a patrol of Nephilim who were there to protect them, but are really no better than the worst of their own police?"

"They would probably be as interested in taking a Nephilim in for testing as they would a werewolf, vampire, or any other Downworlder. Much as I’m sure the Clave would love to do to you."

"Yeah," Alec huffed, "on a dissection table, or something."

"That’s not going to happen," Magnus told him firmly, nudging into his side.

"No, it isn’t," Alec agreed with equal determination. "I just… I guess I’ve never thought about it so much before. I mean, I have so much _time_ now."

"True."

"But with all these… changes we’re hearing about, that we’ve not seen for ourselves since being here; do you think the Mundanes will notice any of it?"

"I’m sure some will."

"If the whole purpose of the Clave is to protect the Shadow World, and the Mundanes; surely all these _policies_ are going to mean they’re… well they’re sort of neglecting all that, aren’t they? By trying to control everyone?"

Magnus wondered if Alec was aware how often he switched between speaking of each side of the Shadow World as though he belonged there, or if he felt like he was part of neither, how he must be attempting to reconcile all the parts of himself with both. He took a moment to consider how to answer, though Alec’s arm wrapping around his waist announced it was a rhetorical question, and the nuzzle to his temple said he wasn’t particularly looking for an answer.

"I think we’ll be able to judge that for ourselves when we eventually return," Magnus said anyway, aware that they’d been away from New York for more than a month already, and still had no firm plans for going back.

"Yeah," Alec agreed, almost under his breath.

"Alexander—"

"And we still need to figure out how I ended up like this," Alec added, looking down at himself briefly.

"We do," Magnus agreed, his stomach knotting as he couldn’t stop it doing for every time Alec mentioned being a warlock. They’d been over it so many times already, and though he knew Alec never meant anything derogatory by it, Magnus couldn’t help worrying how much regret there was beneath his words.

"Obviously, it’s not a priority, with everything else going on," Alec said, pressing a kiss to Magnus’ temple and tugging him closer. "But I want to know eventually."

"It’s not as though you can… feel what kind of demon did this to you."

"No. I wouldn’t know how."

"Your wings are… they are not a unique feature, for a demon. They don't precisely resemble the one I saw in the Institute, either. They don’t stand out—"

"You don’t like my wings, Magnus?" Alec laughed in teasing, turning him in his arms.

"On the contrary; I’m fairly sure I like your wings twice as much as you do. More, probably."

"You… like my wings?"

"I love your wings," Magnus insisted, sweeping his hands up over Alec’s shoulder blades where those wings would protrude if visible.

"Magnus—"

"I love your wings, because they are a part of _you_. And I love _all_ of you," Magnus told him with a soft smile, knowing how difficult it still was for Alec to even acknowledge he had them.

"You know I love your eyes," Alec mumbled, and Magnus unglamored them for a second, having the desired effect of making Alec smile.

"I do."

"And you’re sure it couldn’t have been those demons from the rift," Alec asked.

"Well. We don’t know anything about them, but I would think it unlikely."

"Because?"

"Because there is no trace of angel blood left in you; it must have been deliberately removed, and replaced entirely by demon blood. I know you said these demons were intelligent, but to become a warlock—for the entire transformation to work—it is not just the change of blood that is necessary. There are spells, incantations, and other things that are needed as well."

"And you don’t think they’d be capable of something like that?"

"It isn’t impossible, I suppose, but it is unlikely. These demons acted as a swarm, in groups, and showed almost a… shared intelligence. But I don’t see how they could have performed those spells."

"So… another warlock?" Alec asked, sounding doubtful.

"I think it’s a possibility, yes, though I wouldn't know why. Initially, I wondered if the reason the Clave was keeping Marcia Cardoso was because they believed her to be responsible."

"And you don’t now?"

"Honestly? I don’t know what to think. That no one I have spoken to has heard from her, and your mother is certain she is still present in Idris, tells me that the Clave is either using her for something, or holding her for something."

"But if they were holding her for anything to do with _me_ , they probably wouldn’t be making threats to _talk_ to me. Accusing me of… whatever," Alec replied.

"Perhaps," Magnus agreed. "At the moment, it is difficult to know anything. Only possible to speculate; and that is only giving us more questions."

 Alec's huff said exactly what he thought of those _questions_ , and Magnus leaned into his side in total agreement.

* * *

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

"So these wards," Alec asked, still the picture of concentration as he kept his hands extended out, though laughing as three of the sheep continued to butt their heads against the invisible wall he was keeping them behind. "Are they similar to the ones you use to protect the Institute?"

"These are a quicker, easier form of ward," Magnus replied, impressed by the evenness of Alec’s wardings already, with not a spot of weakness to be seen. "The ones in place for the Institute, and over the city, they are not permanent; no ward ever is, they need constant replenishment. But the more… durable wards take more time to prepare, are far more draining for the warlock conjuring them, and there are different enchantments, incantations involved."

"So in theory, this kind of ward could be used against a face to face enemy if you were fighting, and needed a minute to… I don’t know. Heal a wound, retrieve arrows, things like that?"

"In theory, yes," Magnus agreed. "Though that also depends on how accomplished the warlock is."

"Meaning," Alec prompted.

"Meaning, that it would take excellent concentration to be focused on fighting, and maintaining the wards, and restocking an armory, or healing yourself, or any combination of those things at the same time," Magnus told him. "It’s something you would need to practice; look at how effortless it is for you to control your wings most of the time."

"Most of the time," Alec said, turning to smile at him with his cheeks dusted with the softest of blushes, putting images in Magnus’ mind of just a few days earlier when Alec had lost control of his glamor.

A face-full of thrumming wings as he’d bent Alec over the window seat of their bedroom, allegedly so they could watch the storm, was not something that Magnus wanted to forget for a while. And that Alec’s wings were so sensitive to the touch, Magnus sighed, his pants tightening a fraction, only brought back from his mind wandering by a cleared throat calling his attention.

"Speaking of concentration," Alec teased, and Magnus looked down just in time to avoid a sheep nudging against his leg.

"We should… get these back to their field," Magnus smiled, reaching out to pat the sheep’s head, then nodding for Alec to drop his wards, and laughing as the three that had been ramming at it charged forward seeming confused that they could move.

"Can I try?" Alec asked, raising his hands again to flare magic from them.

"Of course," and Magnus watched the concentration on Alec’s face as he raised his hands skyward to lift the sheep one by one back over their dry-stone wall, laughing softly as Alec winced and apologized to each in turn as they bleated in protest mid-air, juddering and jolting when his control dipped.

"They… they’ll be okay. Won’t they?"

"Of course, Alexander," Magnus smiled, stepping closer to hug him the moment the last sheep was down. "And that was perfect."

"I don’t think they agree with you," Alec laughed, listening to the disgruntled noises still coming from the other side of the wall. Magnus smiled hard to himself, and tucked into Alec’s side.

"Shall we go in? It’s getting cold again."

"Yeah," Alec agreed, with one final glance over at the wall, then turning and leading him inside. "Hey, Magnus?"

"Yes."

"You think… Luke said the Clave—the Institute— _Jarod_ , was trying to… I don’t know; divide all the Downworlders. Keep them in separate areas. You think he’d… try something like this? With the wards?"

Magnus sighed, pouring them both a drink and handing Alec his glass, nodding towards the couch for them to sit. "I suppose it is possible. If the Institute insists on replacing all the leaders; if _my_ replacement can be persuaded to divide the city up with wards, then yes, perhaps."

"How can he have undone all our work in just a few _weeks_?" Alec asked, sinking down with a groan, almost spilling his drink in the process. It wasn't the first time, the subject coming up between them almost daily. Magnus lifted his arm for Alec to duck under and pulled him close.

"When there is no one there to oppose him. When the Institute has seized total control of—"

"But all that trust we had between us, Magnus," Alec said, absently raising his arm for Magnus to duck under, "it’s all gone, in moments. It might take forever to rebuild."

"Perhaps not forever," Magnus disagreed, squeezing over his thigh. "Don't forget that you achieved a great number of changes within a few months."

"But they didn’t stick for a while," Alec pointed out, sipping at his glass in thought.

"I suppose."

"And it’s not like I can do anything about any of this," Alec added, slumping back. Magnus took his time to plan his answer, wondering how Alec would react to his words.

"Alexander. I know it’s only technically been a few weeks."

"Every time I learn something new, it just reminds me that it's barely scratching the surface," Alec sighed, leaning their heads together.

"Yes, I imagine it would feel like that. And you are doing remarkably well."

"Considering I’ve got two new limbs and this whole other part of me?" Alec snorted, twisting in Magnus’ arms enough to be able to lazily flare magic in his palm.

"Alexander; you’re a natural," Magnus insisted, earning himself a nose at his cheek to turn his head, and a sweet, soft kiss.

"But?"

"But nothing," Magnus replied, lifting his hand to gently grip his chin and keep him in place.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, raising an eyebrow, and smiling at him knowingly, "say what you want to say."

Magnus took a slow breath once again debating the reception of his words. "It’s just… I know it’s quite soon. But you still—at times you still seem to refer to yourself as… a Shadowhunter. Part of the Clave. And I’m not suggesting that it won’t take a little time for you to adjust to thinking of yourself as a—a _Downworlder_."

Alec nodded, leaving Magnus to think he’d probably said enough. "Is it weird that I don’t feel like I belong to either?"

"No. It isn’t."

"I mean; I think that it’s just habit; I _am_ a Shadowhunter. I’ve always been a Shadowhunter. I know my body says something different now, and the Clave think I’m some kind of… abomination. But in here," he said, jabbing a thumb at his temple, "I’m still that. Still me."

"You are still you, whether you are a Shadowhunter, or a Downworlder, or something in between," Magnus pointed out, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I am," Alec agreed, sitting up a little, and smiling, "I am; I know that. I think maybe it’s just… habit. But I… I think maybe the thing I’m gonna need the most time for, is getting used to that idea. Where I belong, what I’m supposed to do now, what I _can_ do. I can’t… I still feel like the same person I’ve always been, but there’s—it’s not even like I feel _more_ ; the magic, and everything, it’s just taken the place of what I did, and felt with the runes. I can still feel _Jace_ —sort of. It’s… it’s more that I know he’s somewhere, than I can tell anything about how he’s feeling."

"The parabatai rune is complex," Magnus agreed.

"It is. But the bond has changed; it’s not—I don’t feel like part of me is missing for him not being around. It’s just… different. And a lot to get used to."

"I’d say there’s no hurry for you to work things out—to get used to this."

"To being a warlock?" Alec replied, smiling when Magnus looked at him.

"Yes."

"Magnus," Alec agreed with a kiss to his temple. "I am sure I’ve got more to learn than I’ve even imagined yet."

"You do. But I know there won't be time to teach you everything before we need to return to New York. Enough for now, perhaps."

"But we’ll need to go back sometime," Alec sighed, closing his eyes, "even if, technically, neither one of us are gonna have any say in anything. We’re not even _welcome_."

"We still have responsibilities. People that we care about. Who knows? Perhaps we can have some influence behind the scenes."

"We need to try," Alec said, sounding tired. "I wish I could do more; with _this_ , by myself—"

"We will do all we can, Alexander," Magnus told him, squeezing his thigh again, "we will. But it was necessary for you to take at least a little time to get used to… some of what you are capable of. If you hadn’t, without any sense of control, who knows what any confrontations with the Institute under this new _regime_ might have been like? Or led to?"

Alec sighed again, but nodded, draining his glass, then shuffling down until he was lying on Magnus’ chest. Magnus smiled at the gesture, running his fingertips through the back of his hair, for which Alec smiled in content.

"I… maybe it’s selfish, but I need at least a few more days."

"It’s not selfish," Magnus told him, holding on to Alec as he leaned forward just enough to slide his glass on the table. "Not at all."

"It is if the main reason I wanna stay is to spend more time with you here, alone," Alec countered, raising his head for a second to look at him. "Especially since we’ve got all the time in the world now to be together."

"I needed this time, as much as you did, Alec," Magnus replied, thumbing hair away from his forehead and encouraging him to lay back down.

"Just a few more days," Alec sighed, wriggling to get comfortable.

"As long as you need."

* * *

"Simon just called me."

Magnus looked up from the book he was reading on the couch to see Alec’s face troubled, and patted next to him for Alec to sit down.

"That’s… unusual."

"Yeah," Alec agreed, his expression growing furious, and the moment he sat beside Magnus he was pressing a hard kiss to his temple and throwing his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in.

"What is it?"

"You remember how Luke said they were trying to—Jarod, was trying to organize it so he’d have people he wanted in charge of the werewolves, vampires, etc.?"

"I do."

"Magnus," Alec sighed, kissing his temple again, "he’s had someone replace Raphael."

"What?" Magnus asked, turning a little more towards him. "But clan leaders are chosen, earn their position; he can’t just—"

"Yeah, well, apparently, he just _has_ ," Alec sighed, though it came out as more of a whistle with his jaw being clenched so hard.

"Alec—"

"Simon called me because Raphael’s been taken to the Institute for _questioning_ , and no one’s seen him since about two days ago. Apparently, there are three illegal clubs that are being tied to him—"

"Raphael isn’t so stupid as to—"

"Magnus," Alec said softly, "I didn’t say I believed it. I know he works hard to—"

"So how have the Clave come to that conclusion?" Magnus asked. "Surely if there are Mundanes involved, Luke would know. And Luke would tell us."

"Simon didn’t know all that much. He just wanted to ask me if there were any laws, or rules, that he could go to the Institute with himself to… I don’t know; try talking Raphael out."

"Simon is always far braver than he gives himself credit for," Magnus sighed, his stomach clenching in fear for his friends.

"He is," Alec agreed with a pinched smile. "I just… I don’t think he’s gonna do anything but get himself into trouble if he goes. I get the impression there’s literally no evidence to pin on Raphael at all, so there’s no law or reasoning that would help. It’s just a convenient excuse to get him out of the way, to get the person Jared wants in control in power."

"But that’s—"

"Magnus," Alec whispered, pulling him into a hug and nuzzling behind his ear, "we need to go back. We can’t put this off any longer; I know I’m not anywhere near ready with learning all this stuff, but we need to do _something_. If we go back, maybe we can… I don’t know; maybe we’ll at least get a sense of what’s happening. See what we can do to fight back."

Magnus held his breath, thinking the last thing Alec needed was to rush into a situation they barely had any details about. But the calls and messages they were receiving were telling them nothing good; and much as Magnus loathed the thought of Alec pushing himself, perhaps they didn’t have a choice.

"Okay, Alec," Magnus nodded. "But we will need to be careful. If everything is as underhanded as it seems to be, and there is still talk of the Clave wanting to _interview_ you, then we will need to keep you hidden, as much as is possible. Just in case they plan on trying anything… untoward."

"I don’t know how any of this is gonna work," Alec sighed, pulling back a little and playing with Magnus’ fingers.

"We’ll figure it out," Magnus told him, with as much confidence as he could pretend to have. It seemed reckless going in effectively blind, but he wasn’t sure what other choices they had.

"We have to," Alec sighed. "Magnus; they’re talking about putting tracking chips in everyone again. Simon said there’s rumors of Downworlders literally disappearing off the streets. We need to do something."

* * *

 

 


End file.
